#1
This is structured like a song but that shouldn't be an issue


They say it ain't safe to go out anymore
So the police station has bolted up the door
The floor's full of torn up betting stubs
They put televisions in my favourite pubs
Our homes get bulldozed, no one watches
They want soap operas, not soap boxes
This town has left me high and dry
But i'll be here 'till the day I die.

They tell me i'm just pissed off
Yeah maybe i'm just pissed off
But i'd rather be pissed off
Than be pissed on


As the world burns down outside
And they battle on the front line
My darling hold on tight
My darling hold on tight


We beg for another show we can watch 'till we're sick
Just like a donkey chasing a carrot on a stick
Watching our lives filmed in a soft focus
With abrakadabra and hocus pocus
One billion channels and there's still nothing on
The television will not be revolutionised
The announcer says 'and now for something completely indifferent'

They tell me i'm just pissed off
Yeah maybe i'm just pissed off
But i'd rather be pissed off
Than be pissed on


As the world burns down outside
And they battle on the front line
My darling hold on tight
My darling hold on tight


'Cause I demand my rock n roll, with blood sweat and tears
I demand my reggae, to cause bleeding in my ears
I demand my punk rock, to start a revolution
I demand my hardcore to sound like an execution
I demand sound systems on the streets, playing the loudest tracks
I demand no rent, no bills, no council tax
I demand love, that isn't measured, by the relationships of the characters on Friends
or the words to some dire RnB song about what a good man
what a mighty, mighty good man is


So as the world burns down outside
And they battle on the front line
My darling hold on tight
My darling hold on tight


Good? Bad? Any thoughts anyone?
#2
I dont have anyu suggestions for you because I don't right lyrics but I like the song. The only thing that rubs me the wrong way is the message itself. You bash one form of media (tv) which is all good and fine, but than turn around and praise what I am assuming is your favorite form of media.

Music is still just media, it still tells another person how to think and when to think it as well as dulling their creative minds if used in the wrong way. See what I am getting at? Its almost as if your are saying that your way of thinking is worse than my way of thinking because I like rebellious music.
#3
i really like the chorus, i think it is, where it says:

So as the world burns down outside
And they battle on the front line
My darling hold on tight
My darling hold on tight

but i dont like second paragraph:

They tell me i'm just pissed off
Yeah maybe i'm just pissed off
But i'd rather be pissed off
Than be pissed on

which doesnt really have a ring to it, i think you should change one or two of the lines to make it ring more.

i also think the 3 verses sound great especially the lines

One billion channels and there's still nothing on
The television will not be revolutionised

which is completely true

overall i think its a good piece

if you can check out my first song please It's All Right Now
If life gives you oranges, say "f*ck oranges" and bail.

Hey You!