#1
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1091967/Santa-Claus-illegal-immigrant-declares-Kremlin-official-Christmas-Cold-War.html

Santa Claus is an 'illegal immigrant' declares top Kremlin official in Christmas 'Cold War'By Will Stewart

You might imagine that Santa would be welcome the world over... but you would be wrong.

A Kremlin official yesterday claimed that Father Christmas was an 'imposter' and an 'illegal immigrant'.

Speaker of the Russian Parliament Boris Gryzlov insisted that the only authentic figure for bringing presents to Russia's children was Ded Moroz - Grandfather Frost.

Mr Gryzlov was at Velikiy Ustyug, traditional home of Ded Moroz in the far north of the country, when he said: 'No one will ever be able to take away Ded Moroz from Russia - not Santa Claus nor any other imposters.

Illegal immigrant: Santa Claus is an 'imposter', a top Kremlin official has claimed
Behind his attacks on Santa Claus --whom he urged to 'get out of the profession, at least in Russia' - is a fear of encroaching Western influences which have led to battles in the streets between Santas dressed in white beards and red coats and Ded Morozes dressed in blue.

Other differences are that Ded Moroz rests on Christmas Eve but distributes gifts at the New Year and he rides in a troika - or sleigh - drawn by horses (although he has sometimes been spotted struggling out of a Lada).

Also, instead of elves, he is accompanied by his attractive granddaughter --the Snow Maiden or Snegurochka.

Although he is popular now, life was not always easy for Ded Moroz. He was persecuted under Stalin, being branded a 'priest's ally' in 1928.

At the same time, Christmas trees were banned in the early years of the USSR.

Stalin, however, relented and in 1937 Ded Moroz was rehabilitated, returning in triumph to the Moscow Palace of Unions.
The real thing: Russian prime minister Vladimir Putin with a man dressed up as Ded Moroz, the Russian equivalent of Santa Claus

There are other key differences between the two men, who can both trace their origins into the mists of time.
Ded Moroz has his feet up on Christmas Eve, only bringing presents a week or so later as Russian celebrate New Year, as he did through most of the Communist era.

Nor does he travel with Rudolf - instead he rides in a troika, a sledge invariably pulled by horses, though many children have also spotted him emerging from a cramped Lada car clutching his bag of presents.
He is usually accompanied by his attractive granddaughter - the Snow Maiden or Snegurochka - who assists him in bringing seasonal happiness.

He comes through the front door, rather than down the chimney.
Walking with a long magical staff, he doesn't say 'Ho, ho, ho" but 'zdravstvuite
"...I escaped into the music. And the music has been my best friend. It has always been a safeguard against life and reality for me..." -Hans Zimmer

"Friends are just your enemies who don't have the guts to kill you." -Steve Peplin
#7
Saying the Daily Mail is misguided, awful and annoying is like saying the Devil is bad.

It is just too easy!
#9
Quote by aaciseric
Those crazy Russians, they should declare war on the Daily Mail.


That would suck though, the daily mail is one of the funniest things I've ever read, it's almost as good as the Weekly World News was.
make Industrial and/or experimental electronic music? Join my group!

Last.fm
#10
lol, ded moroz's beard is alot more bad ass to be fair
My Gear

Fender Deluxe Players Stratocaster
Marshall DSL 50 with 1960A
#11
So he's called Grandfather Frost? That's the kvltest thing ever, fr0stb1tten, infact. And he has a hot ice-queen granddaughter? Well deport that beardy Santa bastard, I say.
Quote by DrewsGotTheLife
yea man, who ever doesnt like pantera or think they suck doesnt like metal, end of discussion, they changed the freakin world n made history, so don't be sayin they suck, have respect, same goes for machine head n lamb of god cuz their good too
#13
He should come to England, live in Southampton and start their own cheap building trade.

Epiphone Les Paul Standard w/ SD Alnico Pro II's
Fender Aerodyne Telecaster & Stratocaster
Marshall JCM 800 4104 combo


E-Married to Funny_Page
#15
Quote by aaciseric
Those crazy Russians, they should declare war on the Daily Mail.


They can join the emo's on that one then.

Does anyone remember that?

Or, more importantly, the Anonymous group crashing their protest?
Quote by dudius

afterward i thought about it and was like "wow, i just jerked off to a chubby girl sucking off a horse. i'm disgusting".

then i watched that segment again
#16
Quote by metaldud536
I suggest America do the same and deport Dora the Explorer.


And miley. I don't care what they have to do they can come up for some reason to kick her out.
#17
I'm trying to imagine the gang fights between Santas and Ded Morozes. I see a movie with Leonardo DiCaprio and Cameron Diaz coming our way.
#18
Quote by metaldud536
I suggest America do the same and deport Dora the Explorer.


Noooo! Not D-d-d-d-d-dora!!! They're onto us! Dont just stand around, Go Diego, GO!
#19

This means war!
Quote by NGD1313
Yes, my mom walked in on me getting my carrot skinned.

So I freaked out and flipped the vegetable tray.

There was ranch everywhere.


Quote by zwound
Win


Quote by __Pent__


^^Too bad I can't do this in real life
#20
Quote by Kid_Thorazine
the daily mail is one of the best parody newspapers around.

the Onion wins over all
#21
Quote by bobjim
the Onion wins over all


I dunno, I think the daily mail gets bonus points because there are people that actually take it seriously, which is hilarious.
make Industrial and/or experimental electronic music? Join my group!

Last.fm
#22
Quote by bobjim
the Onion wins over all


No, because The Mail is a serious paper.

Quote by Pizza The Hut
Dumb article. Santa Clause is Russian in origin.


COUGHdutchCOUGH
Quote by DrewsGotTheLife
yea man, who ever doesnt like pantera or think they suck doesnt like metal, end of discussion, they changed the freakin world n made history, so don't be sayin they suck, have respect, same goes for machine head n lamb of god cuz their good too
#23
"...I escaped into the music. And the music has been my best friend. It has always been a safeguard against life and reality for me..." -Hans Zimmer

"Friends are just your enemies who don't have the guts to kill you." -Steve Peplin
#24
Please don't get your news from the daily fail.

Even dirty foreigners like me know they're idiots.
████████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
█████████████████████████
██████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
███████████████████████████
#25
Quote by Kensai
Please don't get your news from the daily fail.

Even dirty foreigners like me know they're idiots.


Just as long as you don't work here.

[/Slightlyracistjokewhichcouldbeinthefunniesofthe daily mail]

First, so what? They're in a different culture, of course they're going to personify, interpret and view different concepts differently, same as everywhere else which hasn't been Americanised.

Secondly, it's the Daily Mail, they're just blowing stuff out of proportion then taking it out of context and subtly hinting that the foreigners are taking our jobs, their opinions are irrelevant.
Call me Callum

Current gear - 06 MIM Strat, '02 Epiphone Les Paul, Peavey Rockingham, Tanglewood TF8, BLACKSTAR★ HT-5 Combo, EHX Holy Grail, Boss DS-1, Arion SFL-1

Newcastle (and Port Vale)
#26
MINORITIES ARE THE CAUSE OF ALL ECONOMIC AND SOCIAL PROBLEMS.


I... I.. sorry, I don't know what just came over me...
VENUSIAN
FB SC BC TW
Patterns In The Ivy present ethnicity on an intriguing and dedicated level. ~Ambient Exotica
A mesmeric melange of yearning voice, delicate piano and carefully chosen samples. ~Lost Voices