Hello everyone,

I am interested in forming a metal band that uses brass instruments. The instruments I am considering at this point are:
A slide trombone http://i185.photobucket.com/albums/x263/mikezap99/Trombone.jpg

A valve trombone http://i185.photobucket.com/albums/x263/mikezap99/ValveTrombone.jpg

and a baritone horn (Euphonium) http://i185.photobucket.com/albums/x263/mikezap99/900002886.jpg

The valve trombone would be for chords, the slide trombone for solos, and the baritone for the bass lines.

I have a few questions.

1. For the valve trombone, I want to be able to play chords. This is rather difficult on an instrument that can only play one pitch at a time. Is there some type of equipment that I can hook up to the trombone that "splits" the tone into a 1-3-5 chord sound? This would also have to handle major, minor, diminished, etc. chords. This would also have to work in real-time, for live performances.

2. I want to make both trombones sound really crunchy, like heavy metal guitars. What kind of equipment would I need to achieve this? Also keep in mind that the sound of a trombone is different than the sound of metal strings on a guitar.

3. I want to make the baritone sound like an electric bass. What kind of equipment would I need to achieve this?

4. What types of amps would work for this application?

5. Can anyone suggest what types of mics I should look at?

Thank you very much, and all help is greatly appreciated.
Not to be a dick, but this is ultimate guitar, but I'll help anyways.

1. Harmonizer, digitech whammy is one to look at

2. Not gonna happen, brass instruments are way too bright. Not to mention, how would you play chords? Those crunchy tones come from a guitar and overdrive amp, not a trombone.

If you wanna sound like a heavy metal band use guitars.
I don't give a shit if you listen to me or not
Sweet I thought nobody knew about Euphoniums (I've been playing one for 6 years besides my 10 years in guitar).

Yeah not gonna happen with those instruments. You might be able to add them to an already standard line-up of guitar, bass, and drums, but that's just not going to work well by itself. I've actually been considering on adding Euphonium parts to my songs, but I've yet to try it.

You could make a trumpet sound distorted with a silencer and have the player play REALLY hard on it, but it's still nowhere close to how it would sound with a full band. Maybe try having 3 trumpets, a slide trombone, and a bass player/euphonium? You could do chords that way