#1
c4c leave a link.
bored, decided to do another of these.

[CENTER][size="7"]Left[/SIZE][/CENTER]
[RIGHT][I]Alone[/I], [B]to[/B] [I]die[/I], [B]to[/B] [I]suffer[/I],
[B]To[/B] [I]rot[/I], where [size="4"][B][U]no[/U][/B][/SIZE] [I]living[/I] thing should:[/RIGHT]

[LEFT]In the [size="5"]boundaries[/SIZE] of my [U]mind[/U][/LEFT]
[CENTER]In the [size="5"]image[/SIZE] so [U]precisely[/U] [I]drawn[/I]
[/CENTER]
[RIGHT][size="6"]Rhetoric[/SIZE] has placed me [B]here[/B]
Could [size="6"]it[/SIZE] get me [B]out[/B]?[/RIGHT]

[LEFT][size="3"]I[/SIZE] have been [size="7"]left[/SIZE] with [U][B]nothing[/B][/U],
[B][U]Nothing[/U][/B], But [I]thoughts[/I]
[size="2"][/LEFT]
[CENTER]But how far could they go?[/SIZE][/CENTER]
[RIGHT]
[size="1"]only As far as the next page does[/SIZE][/RIGHT]
#2
I thought it was a solid piece. Clever, IMO. It flowed well and I like you're style. This is art, the way you have it layed out. Have a nice day.
#5
I have no idea how to crit a piece like this, but I can say I thoroughly enjoyed reading/seeing/experiencing this.

I'm a sucker for final one-liners, so you won me over on that basis too.

I also love how you spell untitled


I don't think the comma is necessary here:
Nothing, But thoughts

Don't like the repetition of "but" (...but thoughts, but how far...)

Capitalization is all over the place, but I assume that's for emphasis.

I tried.
#6
I really liked this piece!

The presentation actually worked.

Maybe it's because I like exploring the idea of being trapped within your own mind.
^I always thought it was an interesting subject to write about.

I also like the rhetorical question asking whether rhetoric will save him from himself.

This piece is bleeding character all over this page.
In a good way.

^ At least that's what I think
Blindfolds aside I'd probably still close my eyes

And try to feel a trembling fetal life inside
that shotgun barrel that's about to make me bleed

Like an ulcer in the stomach of the beast


Quote by Aurex
your sarcasam amuses me


CSUSM