#1
Now, I'm not an emo kid, but here's the situation. My girlfriend broke up with me, I still like her, and now she's dating someone else (which doesn't make me happy). Any suggestions for analogies for a song? Not necessarily the entire focus of a song, but at least something?
#2
well my GF broke up with me (saying no hard feelings lets still be friends and all that jazz) yet, after the break up she bitched about me in a youtube video
i used the analogy that it was "like she chopped off my c*** and made me suck it"
dunno if that applies here and you probably won't right a song based on this analogy (unless you're in CC) lol
#4
Quote by cartoonydude707
yeah, I'm going for a less, um, graphic style... haha


haha
fair enough
i just thought i'd offer my input lmao

#5
lol. wow.

cartoonydude, you're on the right track. the creativity you're sighting for here is what would or would not make your piece good and original. It's really up to you to find those original images that make a piece unique, may them be inspired by traits of her personality, anecdotes, places you've been, dreams you've had together. I can't help you do that and nobody can. However, there are a few things you can settle in order to get there. I'll try my best.

I think that the first thing you need to do is to decide the tone and the voice of your piece. It doesn't give you analogies, but it allows you to filter them. Do you want to write a whiny piece? (well, you never know...). Do you want it to be cryptic? Dramatic? Elegant and eloquent, in a ipretendidon'tcare fashion? Choosing the latest would eliminate the analogy suggested by our friend joe here, for example .

I don't know how to explain the following without giving an example so bare with me. I don't consider myself a talented writer, but I believe that what I am trying to do ain't all that bad. I will take my last piece, Mausoleum (link in signature). The situation is similar, this piece being about my ex. we broke up for a variety of reasons including her going on a trip in Europe and me moving out of town. We also had our deals of problems, but we always lived our relationship in a very intense way. Everything was overly grand : happy times, downers...

In the piece I wanted to express the helplessness and lack of power I felt towards the situation. However, I did not want it to sound silly, whiny and teeny. So instead of saying how "small" "I" felt, I just placed the narrator of the piece ("I") amongst immense/powerful things. Ocean. Moon/sun. Desert. Pyramids. Death. All humongous things that you can have very little influence on. the captain' rum thing is what we used to drink together all the time, so I started off that. And instead of saying how I missed her and I wanted to be with her at the end of the piece, I compared the empty bottles to the Taj Mahal, which is an Indian palace some King I forgot the name of built in honor of his favourite wife that had died. Basically the thing is a mausoleum. I made the bottles say "Iamnotmausoleum, Iamcelebration", which is basically saying "I would like those empty bottles to mean that we had a great time together (we drank em together, we had fun, celebration), instead of I drank them on my own, turning around thoughts about the fact that we aren't together (mausoleum). The "death" here in the mausoleum is in fact our relationship, obviously, you guessed it. . It's pretty weird and silly to explain it like that, (obviously)but it all put itself into place without me having to do much. that image was personal.
(see, that's why we write poetry. Because some things are just unexplainable with normal words. You can probably get the feeling of this without it seeming silly or stupid, but when explained like that it sounds so. ilovepoetry.)

Without saying whether my piece was good or not, I'm just saying that, I think, it's those kind of intentions that will help you come up with some original, tasteful, and, every once in a while, lovely analogy. Now this is just my take on things, hopefully better writers will step in and give advice of their own.

Good luck with the writing.
#7
set your mood to whut kinda genre you want.. play some chords fast/ slow /medium/ paced..get your feel right of whut your writing about... make sure your chords blend into the Intro/verse/chorus.. and such ...,and then just say whut you feel.. dont get too involved about (WAHHH!! I CANT GET HER BACK).. just get an idea of how your phrasing comes out.. then rearrange them into something that doesn't sound too connected with what your thinking first hand.. but symbolizing your lyrics to whut the experience has done to you and the person you were with.. after your done with the structure you can add in everything else from lead guitar/bass/drums/ and so on.. ..idk if that came out right.. but hmmm.. i guess thats how i write pretty much.. dont know if it helps
The RezVoir Wolf[
#8
Quote by cartoonydude707
wow. quite a response circular. and pretty darn helpful. I'm still working on ideas, but having an example is great. now I gotta try to write something without copying you


np really, glad I helped.

If you haven't already, check out the lyrics tips thread . It's a huuuuge compilation of advice on writing from good (often fcking awesome) writers on here. Don't read this all at once, for your brain might head straight to your colon, but skimming through it can only help you get a better understanding of possible ways to write. Good luck.

#9
Quote by cartoonydude707
Now, I'm not an emo kid, but here's the situation. My girlfriend broke up with me, I still like her, and now she's dating someone else (which doesn't make me happy). Any suggestions for analogies for a song? Not necessarily the entire focus of a song, but at least something?


You take a bite of a sandwich. However, before you can take another bite, someone else steals the sandwich and eats about half of it. Yet you're still drooling, desperate to get another bite of that now tattered, dripping-with-saliva mess.

Could work, imo.
#10
Quote by SilenceEvolves
You take a bite of a sandwich. However, before you can take another bite, someone else steals the sandwich and eats about half of it. Yet you're still drooling, desperate to get another bite of that now tattered, dripping-with-saliva mess.

Could work, imo.


ROFL
#11
That was an awesome response Mat. Probably one of the most helpful things I've seen in here.
#12
you've just downloaded some sweet music and the FBI knocks on your door cause they caught you downloading music illegally

you're running around the house and you go through a doorway, come back five minutes later and smash your face cause its a clear sliding door and someone closed it.
#13
Quote by SilenceEvolves
You take a bite of a sandwich. However, before you can take another bite, someone else steals the sandwich and eats about half of it. Yet you're still drooling, desperate to get another bite of that now tattered, dripping-with-saliva mess.

Could work, imo.


Genius. Pure genius.