#1
there.

I made my own advent calendar.
every cardboard door
hides a shot of hard liquor.
I'm not a traditionalist,
counting days 'til christmas
there's much more potential
in the minutes that pass
half an hour of cheer
leaves you flat on your back

we do it for the kids
a bright spot
for the dark days of winter
they get so excited
for a planned break and enter
instead of calling the cops
we serve the guy dinner
a fictional crime wave
circling the globe
a fat guy
in a bad suit
blowing his load

charlie brown
just wanted a christmas
without showbiz
a stage for linus
to talk about jesus
nowadays
he'd sell ad space
in the program
to make a nice profit
all I want for christmas
is a positive blanket
Last edited by rush4life at Dec 10, 2008,
#2
Darcy, one of the best thing I've read from you. I loved it. The second stanza especially. And the third too. In fact all of it.

I think the only thing keeping me from enjoying this at it's fullest
is the odd line out. I don't think it's effective nor adding much. If anything, it drags the piece down, to me at least. "all I want for christmas is a positive blanket" would do for a beautiful ending.

<3 much love.
#3
Ah, so glad.

I clicked this expecting another "look out the window, oh its snowing, i better write something about the uniqueness of a snowflake, right?" pieces, but this really hit my hard.

My cynical side loved it.
#4
Thanks Mat, Sam.

The last line as well, was an on the fence thing for me. One of those, "oh that sounds cool" moments. I might take it out.

I left out any preamble just for you Sam.
#5
I loved it. The first really good christmas piece, with just the right amount of cynical edge
#6
wow. This was fantastic. Great read. The positive blanket was not my favorite word choice to be honest. But overall, I loved it. sorry i'm not more helpful

Really really like this one
Anatomy Anatomy
Whale Blue Review

Park that car
Drop that phone
Sleep on the floor
Dream about me
#8
"is a positive blanket"

Didn't like that.

Loved the rest.
マリ「しあわっせはーあるいってこないだーからあるいってゆっくんだねーん 
いっちにっちいっぽみーかでさんぽ
 さーんぽすすんでにっほさっがるー 
じーんせいはっわんつー!ぱんち・・・


"Success is as dangerous as failure. Hope is as hollow as fear." - from Tao Te Ching