my name is borik stanslovski and I have a terrible confession to make

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#1
My name is borik stanslovski and I have a terrible confession to make. Many years ago, in my homeland of Russia under the U.S.S.R. I made a terrible mistake out of my own foolish and pitiful arrogance.

you see I come from a family of humble farmers, but at a young age I excelled at stacking things in perfectly straight lines -- I could do this with a number of odd shapes, even some most people would find impossible.

it was because of this that our leader at the time, Joseph Stalin, decided that I would train to be a contractor in the traditional Russian style of stacking blocks into perfectly straight lines. After such our secret technology (one not known to the US to this date) allowed the blocks to either disappear entirely or be compacted into a smaller form we could use at a later date. We call this "Tetris" in the mother land, and it gave us a competitive edge against the construction methods of other countries.

I trained for years in the art, and was so revered that I stayed as head constructionist in all of the USSR. In my later years is when tragedy struck -- Under Gorbachev, I was put in charge of a top secret project to restructure the entirety of the soviet union -- should I have finished it wouldve been a paradise for us all -- all the resources, food, and supplies we'd have ever needed wouldve been easily supplied. our secret "tetris" technology would've allowed us to do this from a small point. The core of the system is nuclear, however, and failure to stack up the blocks in a perfectly straight line before reaching a height equal to the critical mass of the reactor core would cause massive destruction, this is why I was assigned the duty.

it was at this point, however, I became arrogant with my work, believing myself to be master of the art; I quickly became cocky, and decided it would be faster to stack blocks up on one side, and wait until I could be supplied with a straight piece to easily fill the remaining hole. I ignored how dangerously close I was getting to critical mass, and forsook the training in patience I had undergone since my youth.

I never did get the last straight block, and because of this, we went past critical mass, and though almost everyone was warned in time and escaped to fallout shelters, the soviet union itself collapsed.

Thats right, I Borik Stanslovski, am responsible for the collapse of the soviet union, and me alone.
Gear:

Jackson dk2m
MIM strat
peavey jsx 2x12 combo
Recording King RDC-26
Digitch RP1000
Crybaby 535Q
Last edited by spiroth10 at Dec 11, 2008,
#2
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#3
Thanks Borik. The USSR were the bad guys.

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#5
Rape!
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#17
But how many lines are needed to restructure the entire USSR?
There will probably be a signature here at some point.
#19
Tetris will be the end of the world as we know it.

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youmakemesmile...

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Today I stole a girls tampons for being such an annoying bitch.





MUFC


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Berserker.
#20
So it was you...

*cocks gun*
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#21
(8
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#22



.............wait you're serious!?
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At first he was like...
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I love you, man. No homo

But then, he was like...
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I love you even more now. Slightly homo
#25
Quote by southpaw_tdg
lol wow you have some time on your hands don't you, lol, good one!


actually I was playing tetris on an emulator was like -- hey this is russian... and it took me like 5 minutes because I felt divinely inspired... lol
Gear:

Jackson dk2m
MIM strat
peavey jsx 2x12 combo
Recording King RDC-26
Digitch RP1000
Crybaby 535Q
#27
Quote by tyler_j
stanslovski sounds polish to me

I agree. I grew up in a city that was at least 95% Polish, no joke. I'd go with something more like stanislovik.
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#28
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*orly*


Have you not logged in since you registered? I can't begin to tell you how old that is.
#29
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I agree. I grew up in a city that was at least 95% Polish, no joke. I'd go with something more like stanislovik.


lol thanks I'll keep that in mind if I ever tell this story again...

at least the moniker didnt ruin the epicness
Gear:

Jackson dk2m
MIM strat
peavey jsx 2x12 combo
Recording King RDC-26
Digitch RP1000
Crybaby 535Q
#32
give my 2 mins of my life back... NOW!
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#33
My parents died in that tragedy

DAMN YOU BORIK STANSLOVSKI
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#34
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#36
:p
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why would they star in a movie making fun of themselves

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#37
I would write something funny, but im to A.D.D. to read everything you wrote
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#38
Quote by Avedas
Have you not logged in since you registered? I can't begin to tell you how old that is.


i as far as i know i am logged in 24/7

either way i haven't used those in a while.
Quote by metaldud536
...I mean if indians stood naked in front of me, i couldn't tell if they're hispanic or native american. unless they put on clothes

At first he was like...
Quote by Twistedrock
I love you, man. No homo

But then, he was like...
Quote by Twistedrock
I love you even more now. Slightly homo
#39
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What the..?

^This.

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


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#40
Good times.... In soviet Russia, stacking Tetris makes YOU dissapear.

Fail
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