#1
This is a tribute song I wrote for guitarist Dimebag Darrell.
Verses Screamed and Chorus and Bridge are sung.

Fallen Hero

[Verse]
Your days were numbered til the end,
when in the flash of an eye,
Your life was over.

Bullet shot broke through your skin,
I watched my hero die.
Gone forever.

So full of life.
So full of potential.
I wish,
I could've taken the pain,
away!

[Chorus]
An act of betrayal,
took our loved ones life.
Had so much to live for,
but ended in one night.

[Verse]
How can he live with himself now,
watched his brother die.
In front of his eyes.

Enraged fans rushed the stage,
because of one man,
and what he did.

So full of life.
So full of potential.
I wish,
I could've taken the pain,
away!

[Chorus]
An act of betrayal,
took our loved ones life.
Had so much to live for,
but ended in one night.
Stared down the barrel,
as it made its way.
Taken before us,
that very day.

[Bridge]
The bullet shot broke through the skin..
and I watched my hero die..
I WATCHED HIM DIE

[solo]

[Chorus]
An act of betrayal,
took our loved ones life.
Had so much to live for,
but ended in one night.
Stared down the barrel,
as it made its way.
Taken before us,
that very day.

An act of betrayal,
took our loved ones life.
Had so much to live for,
but ended in one night.
Stared down the barrel,
as it made its way.
Taken before us,
that very day.


Comments are appreciated!
#2
A very tasteful song
at the moment, the whole dimebag worshipping thing is really tacky and tiresome, but youve shown exception to that, kudos
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#4
=] very nice

make that solo a friggin good one boy!!
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#8
don't know too much about dime to be honest, but you have a nice tribute here, thanks for the crit on mine, keep on rocking in the free world- Matlock
#10
It was a good idea but it lacked a true creative touch. The flow seemed a little off
and had predictable rhyming. Though words come different sung instead of read.
#13
Well I've read all your writings, and critiqued your newest one...
This song seems too generic, if you understand what I'm saying. Every part, minus one verse, could be about ANYONE'S HERO. There's nothing that makes this song "special." If he was a hero to you, or whomever, make it seem so.

From what I've read in your work, here's what you should change:
1. Be more specific. You seem to generalize a lot, or you don't make anything stand out in your work.
2. Don't force rhyming.
3. Write about something YOU care about. Something that drives YOU. Something you can actually put feelings in the form of words, not what your friend feels.

I don't mean to be harsh, but reading your work hasn't shown me anything new. It sounds like anything else out there. Work on some stuff, don't over-think or force anything. Just let it flow.

Just trying to help man.
What if you could look right through the cracks,
Would you find yourself, find yourself afraid to see?
#17
That was beautiful, man.

EDIT: Don't scream the vocals, it would kill it. I mean, nothing against screaming or growling, but it doesn't suit the lyrics.
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He's a big shot down there at the slaughterhouse,
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Last edited by vanshaya at Jan 31, 2009,
#19
You did a good job portrayin' this dude.

I really like what you write man!
We should keep in touch lol
#21
Hmm... I dunno man. In my eyes it's quite distasteful.

When you write about a murder and a life that means so much in my opinion I find it in bad taste to right so blunt. Also, definitely no screaming. That would ruin any song's meaningfulness about life. But this is all my opinion. Sorry if it seemed negative.
#23
its good just two things:

1. dont scream that would kill the mood of the song. the only reason is this is a sad song about dimes death the screaming wouldnt work to well
2. make sure its a kick ass solo i would say to take one of his solos and fack around with it so it fits the song. ( if the solo dont rock i will e-slap you) lol
3. this has to do with the bridge i feel that should be the only part that should be screamed but not like a full on im gonna rip your head off scream but a bit louder and sing it with a rough voice.

but all in all solid lyrics i wanna hear it when you record it pm me when you do
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