#1
Haven't written in a while, just thought I'd try to break that shyness barrier again. Dan, do you like the title? I thought it up myself!

I watch as he
casually types away at my laptop,
fixing the mess I once again found myself in
The one I promised never to start again.
God, maybe if you help me out, I wouldn't be here.
I'm not an animal like you make me out to be.
Everybody needs to feel loved, after all.
Everybody.

Instead, I'm a virgin who's
never felt the warm, reassuring touch of a woman.
Granted, Mariah wasn't very reassuring,
but she did earn her ten bucks that night.
Meh, I guess what I really need to say is
I'm sorry for losing perspective on what's really important,
which is, that I'm just good enough for you to not kill me.

Now, can you please fix my computer?
Last edited by Ninjamonkey767 at Dec 12, 2008,
#2
first, a couple of typos.
S1, L2 - "lab top" deliberate? or is it ment to be "laptop"?

S2, L7 - "losing", not "loosing"

Apart from that, this seemed a whole lot of nothing to me. Even the content wasn't that spectacular. The writing was pretty weak, the content was weak, and there's no lines here that made me go - oh, wow! It's just words. And some of the line breaks are really awkward. Sorry, man, but this just did absolutely nothing for me.
#4
I laughed hard at this. I loved it! I really did! Me and Pete are going to be the only ones who really see this in the way that you may hope.

I shall be back.
#5
Quote by AngryGoldfish
Me and Pete are going to be the only ones who really see this in the way that you may hope.


I'm afraid you might be right Dan, as I find myself agreeing with everything Kyle said.