#1
In responce to something said in another thread...lets talk about squirrels!



What does everyone else think about these adorable little guys? I think they're great, just so cute ^_^

I'll probably regret saying this but does anyone have any stories about squirrels?
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#2
Me and a buddy managed to convince the entire school that he was attacked by a squirrel, and that's why his face was all scratched up.

He fell off his bike.
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#3
I know a guy who cut a squirrel's tail off just to see it fall off of tree branches and power lines because it didn't have balance anymore.
#4
Quote by Zaphod_Beeblebr
In responce to something said in another thread...lets talk about squirrels!



What does everyone else think about these edible little guys? I think they're great, just so cute ^_^

I'll probably regret saying this but does anyone have any stories about squirrels?

Fixed.
Fluffy tailed rats they are.
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#7
Bad ass squirrel


Wasn't bad ass enough.
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#8
i got a few short stories about squirrel (i live in rural CT)

i worked a campground. there was this guy who fed raw peanuts to squirrels, the would come up to him and take them from his hand

at the same campground, the speed limit is 5mph. like a squirrel on a highway, one darted back and forth and i ran it over....in a golf cart.

squirrels make a weird clicking sound when they are angry.

my cats think squirrels are delicious.

i knew this kid who dropped out of school to read beatnick poetry in the woods and he tamed several squirrels.

red squirrels prefer the woods, grey squirrels prefer human disturbed areas
#9
God damn it, I hate squirrels. They always steal my birdseed. I prefer to call them tree-rats.

And why isn't Shard prime in on this?
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#10

not my pic, still pretty cool
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#11
Quote by brentonlatour
i worked a campground. there was this guy who fed raw peanuts to squirrels, the would come up to him and take them from his hand


You can get a squirrel to take food from your hand in the space of an afternoon
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#12
Years ago at school after PE we were walking back from the football pitches towards school and one of the teachers (female) was staring up at a grey squirrel in a tree with a gooey look on her face saying "look boys, a squirrel, isn't it so cute!"

Then I told her about how grey squirrels are annhilating native red squirrels in the UK.

That wiped the smile off the bitches face!

Another time at uni we had a lab in the Glasgow Botanic gardens for Environmental Science. Outside the greenhouses the Lecturer was briefing us when this squirrel jumps out from the tree and starts making these aggressive chattering noises at us, it slowly made its way through the middle of the group and disappeared into another tree at the other side of the path, the Lecturer, who was a nervous stuttery fellow had tried to soldier on through the squirrels progression through the group, but was completely inaudible above the weird squirrel noises
#13
Where's Shard when you need him
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#14

SUPER SQUIRREL!!!
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epic win. total, epic win. this is probably the best OC ever created on UG.

kudos, sir.

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#15
I think they're pretty cool. I feed this squirrel in my backyard peanuts when I go out to smoke a J. I read on the internet peanuts are bad for them oh well.

My neighbours attic is infested with squirrels.

When I was like 8 I was teasing this squirrel and he bit me.

I ran over one once, his head made a big popping sound under my tire, it was pretty cool.
#16
I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married...



Yeah, I like to watch them as I walk around campus. They're all really used to people and aren't that startled if you walk by. I think it'd be cool to have a pet squirrel that sat on your shoulder, haha.

They are pretty bad pests, though. My dad calls em "furry little bastards".
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#17
Quote by Kata Dante
I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were merry...


Fixed. Why on earth would he have said married?
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#18
They are roof-destroying little rodent bastards.


On a more entertaining note,

A friend of mine once told me one of the most terrible squirrel-related stories I've ever heard. This friend of mine studied abroad in London for a few years and lived in a bad part of South London. Near his apartment was a park which was mainly occupied by less than desirable patrons. In other words, crackheads. These crackheads had developed the bad habit of discarding their used crackpipes on the ground of this park.

Unfortunately, the squirrels had gotten into the pipes for some reason and eventually became addicted to crack. The situation soon spiraled out of control. These cracksquirrels began to fiend for the crack so badly that they would routinely attack any passerby en masse in order to obtain more crack, and it did not matter whether the passerby was a crackhead or an 8 year-old child, as was often the case.

So yes, cracksquirrels are out there, and yes they are dangerous and they are . . .

. . . watching . . .

you.

Be afraid!


#19
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#20
Quote by Zaphod_Beeblebr
Fixed. Why on earth would he have said married?

He did say married! Because he's Milton!

And the actor explained in the extras on the dvd that he wanted to add that specific line himself. I watched it like 2 days ago.
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#21
Quote by Kata Dante
He did say married! Because he's Milton!

And the actor explained in the extras on the dvd that he wanted to add that specific line himself. I watched it like 2 days ago.


Really?

Holy fuck, I could have sworn it was 'merry'. I need the DVD
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#23
Haha, I saw some squirrels having sex the other day. I got it on poor quality on my camera phone.
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#24
i see your gray squirrels and raise you a red squirrel
cos they're better



and a squirrel related story..
i was playing guitar today in the music room at school
and i could see two squirrels frolicking on the fence outside ^^
#25
Quote by Deliriumbassist
Ugh... squirrels suck. They just stand there with their nuts out thinking they're the sh*t. But then you go near them, they f*ck off. Like chavs.


You like going after the Chavs that hang their nuts out?

I can now honestly say I don't blame the squirrels for running.
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#26
****ING YES!

Squirrelthread!
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#27
Friend and I were walking across campus we hear a "CHHHHHHHHHIRRRRRRRRRP" above us... SLAM a squirrel had missed his jump, and lands directly on my friends head afer falling 20 ft. Friend was out cold.

Probably the only man on the face of the earth to get KO'd in the first round by an albino squirrel.
#29
I was walking to school and I seen a completely flattened squirrell(it even had tire tracks on it) the only thing untouched was its big fluffy tail ahaha
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#30
Quote by ZanasCross
Friend and I were walking across campus we hear a "CHHHHHHHHHIRRRRRRRRRP" above us... SLAM a squirrel had missed his jump, and lands directly on my friends head afer falling 20 ft. Friend was out cold.

Probably the only man on the face of the earth to get KO'd in the first round by an albino squirrel.


absolute win
R.I.P. My Signature. Lost to us in the great Signature Massacre of 2014.

Quote by Master Foo
“A man who mistakes secrets for knowledge is like a man who, seeking light, hugs a candle so closely that he smothers it and burns his hand.”


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Legion.
#32

My nametag kicks ass. :3

Don't let the Squirrel Thread die again! D:
I sued Delta Airlines, 'cause they sold me a ticket to New Jersey, I went there, and it SUCKED.
#34
squirrels are a government conspiracy. they are hired to spy on you and steal your socks.
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...


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#36
City squirrels are scary. They will jump on you without hesitation.
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