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#1
ok, so me and some friends were sitting at lunch today. Then, my friend asks me what i'd do if I got AIDS

Here's the convorsation:

Me: "well, seeing as how I don't wanna infect anybody else, I wouldn't get laid anymore. So I'd probably masterbate."
Him: What's that?
Me: what, masterbating?
Him: yeah
Me: M-A-S-T-U-R-B-A-T-I-O-N, that?
Him: yeah
Me: ok, lemme explain this subtly. you get some lotion. lock the door. get a computer. pull down your pants. and you pleasure yourself.
him: eeeww, thats gross.
Me: are you serious?
Him: yeah, what's the point in it?
Me: do it, and you'll find out.
Him: no thinks, I'm fine the way I am.
Me: dude, it doesn't change who you are. i've been doing it since the 7th grade!!!
Him: dude that's sick and nasty

and then somehow I managed to bring up all the different terms for it, here's a list of them:

jerkin it
whacking off
jacking off
slicing your salmon
polishing your head
grilling your bratwurst (for my midwestern and german buddies out there)
and my personal favorite: fap

and then he goes on about how the fact I know all these terms is sick and gross


thats pretty much how it went. I just thought I'd share this with the pit. discuss

tl, dr: friend didn't know what masterbation is, and we're in high school

EDIT: ok, grammar nazis, all spelling errors fixed.

EDIT2: he was also dead serious.
Last edited by guitardude34875 at Dec 12, 2008,
#2
Ironic that you can't spell it correctly.

M-A-S-T-U-R-B-A-T-I-O-N
#4
So? I can think of probably a dozen or so 10th - 12th graders that don't know what a penis looks like.
#6
I seriously didn't know what masturbation was in junior highschool either...
#7
Quote by Doppelgänger
Sure showed him.


it wasn't really an argument, and I can't tell whether your being sarcastic or not. damn internets

Quote by Rising
I seriously didn't know what masturbation was in junior highschool either...


yeah but this is high school, not junior high. this is 9th-12th grade, so 14-18 year olds.
#8
Quote by guitardude34875
it wasn't really an argument, and I can't tell whether your being sarcastic or not. damn internets


#10
I knew what it was In junior High.

in fact, I did masturbate in Junior High A little bit.

Felt "Weird".

Anyway,




ZEZdit:

Fao.



lulz thread is lulz...
#13
I started when I was 11. This kid's way behind the times.
Quote by shattamakar
The only advantage of home-schooling is that it gives you good reason to commit suicide.


Hit this once or twice, and you'll be twice as nice.
#14
"grilling your bratwurst (for my midwestern and german buddies out there)"
Haha awesome
#15
I think your friend may have been being sarcastic, or joking with you.
grok it.

SKREAM!

Listen to jazz, it's good for you...
#16
I think TS fed a troll in RL
Blindfolds aside I'd probably still close my eyes

And try to feel a trembling fetal life inside
that shotgun barrel that's about to make me bleed

Like an ulcer in the stomach of the beast


Quote by Aurex
your sarcasam amuses me


CSUSM
#17
OMG IM LAUGHING SO HARD RIGHT NOW............, wow...... where i come from( Northeast PA, breaking benjamin's home) ALL of us know what that means, and do it and like it, we are a bunch of horny idiots up here, but dude seriously..... wow... thats... .thats something... PS: my personal favorite is polishing your head. LMFAO
#18
Quote by IbanezRG2EX1
OMG IM LAUGHING SO HARD RIGHT NOW............, wow...... where i come from( Northeast PA, breaking benjamin's home) ALL of us know what that means, and do it and like it, we are a bunch of horny idiots up here, but dude seriously..... wow... thats... .thats something... PS: my personal favorite is polishing your head. LMFAO


...

Someone thinks masturbation is funny.

I never understood that.

LULZ MaStErBaTiOn!!!!
I does it AloT LULZ

...

NO ONE CARES!
Blindfolds aside I'd probably still close my eyes

And try to feel a trembling fetal life inside
that shotgun barrel that's about to make me bleed

Like an ulcer in the stomach of the beast


Quote by Aurex
your sarcasam amuses me


CSUSM
#19
Bet he went straight home and tried it.
XIAOXI
Last edited by Abunai X at Dec 12, 2008,
#20
Is he a Jesus kid?
Quote by Cathbard
If all you had to go on was the forum you'd think a Decimator could cure noise caused by dodgey stage lighting and restock the ocean's population of sperm whales
#21
Quote by sneyob
...

Someone thinks masturbation is funny.

I never understood that.

LULZ MaStErBaTiOn!!!!
I does it AloT LULZ

...

NO ONE CARES!


im laughing at that he didnt know what it meant, like seriously... who doesnt know what it means.., u sir gotta have a better attitude seriously,
#22
Quote by shadow__666
Is he a Jesus kid?


I beleive so, we go to the same church, and he's been going there his whole life. I've only been going there 6 monthes, explains a lot I guess haha.
#23
hes missing out
founder of the MXPX group, pm me to join

PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!!!!!!!!



Wii number: 7054 3894 4223 2011
#25
Quote by Drosty
I whacked it 3 times it the time it took me too read that!

I hope for your sake that you're a really, really slow reader.
Quote by MightyAl
I took a pic of myself, cut a hole in the face and stuck my knob through so i could see what I'd look like if I got bitten by a radioactive elephant.
#27
Quote by IbanezRG2EX1
im laughing at that he didnt know what it meant, like seriously... who doesnt know what it means.., u sir gotta have a better attitude seriously,


SRSLY?

Sorry I'm just in a dick mood today.

Not in the gay way, in the asshole way.

...

wait...
Blindfolds aside I'd probably still close my eyes

And try to feel a trembling fetal life inside
that shotgun barrel that's about to make me bleed

Like an ulcer in the stomach of the beast


Quote by Aurex
your sarcasam amuses me


CSUSM
#29
There's a high schooler I know that doesn't know what puberty is. He's gay (the literal homosexual gay, not the insult kind)
If Rock is a life-style, then Metal's an addiction

Yelloooow!


Of The


UG Challenge

#30
Quote by LazyLatinoRocke
There's a high schooler I know that doesn't know what puberty is. He's gay (the literal homosexual gay, not the insult kind)


don't you have health class at your school?
#31
WAT

I was masturbating when I was like 12, even though I didn't know it was called that yet.
Soon you will sit on the bench
of those who deny I have my soul
You sell a dream you create
Condemned by what you condemned before
Smooth are the words you sing down and high
Underground is your joy your laws
#32
I have to post this again because I love this picture.

my MG15DFX has a button that simulates the sound of one of the expensive tube marshall amps


Fender Stratocaster HSS
LTD EC-400AT
Traynor YCV-50 Blue
Peavey Envoy 110

Wishlist: Hamer USA Explorer, Gibson Explorer
#33
Quote by coryklok
MasterBATION of Puppets!
amirite?

fIXED.
Quote by Cathbard
If all you had to go on was the forum you'd think a Decimator could cure noise caused by dodgey stage lighting and restock the ocean's population of sperm whales
#34
Quote by LazyLatinoRocke
He's gay (the literal homosexual gay, not the insult kind)


Haha it's the same thing!!!
Blindfolds aside I'd probably still close my eyes

And try to feel a trembling fetal life inside
that shotgun barrel that's about to make me bleed

Like an ulcer in the stomach of the beast


Quote by Aurex
your sarcasam amuses me


CSUSM
#36
Quote by sneyob
Haha it's the same thing!!!

Quote by shattamakar
The only advantage of home-schooling is that it gives you good reason to commit suicide.


Hit this once or twice, and you'll be twice as nice.
#37
Quote by guitardude34875
don't you have health class at your school?

Yes. But the only sexual thing they teach is how to put a condom on.
If Rock is a life-style, then Metal's an addiction

Yelloooow!


Of The


UG Challenge

#39
dude, i watched the other day as my friend explained it to this 21 year old chick. couldnt believe it.
#40
A lot of kids I know say that and say they're gonna wait for the real thing when they usually don't do anything over the weekend or talk to any girls at all
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