Right, so I was wrong in calling this a pop punk song.
This is a metal song, according to some helpful users on UG, thank you guys.
It starts off acousticly, paying out mainstream pop music, then gets into the actual song.
So, anyways, C4C, and enjoy.
Love, Lust.zip
Last edited by zachary-tfn at Dec 14, 2008,
The intro is very poppy. and creepy. the first riff is pretty bad. it had nothing to it and doesnt sound pop punky at all. then tremolo picking sounds more metal than pop punk. the riff at 51 sounds like death metal. just not tuned as low. riff at 116 again, sounds very metal. the riff at 120 is the only thing in this song that souns remotley close to pop punk.

okay, this song is not pop punk at all. pop punk should be happy ect. this sounds like metal, even death metal at some parts. research into song writing more. play in key. in a happier key. sorry for being so harsh but this was pretty bad.


The intro was fantastic, really nice acoustic stuff. Unfortunately after that, as said before, it sounds like death metal/deathcore stuff. Keep the intro, scrap the rest and make it calmer/happier. If this was a metal song I would have said it was a really good piece of work, but as it wasn't, I'm afraid I cant be so nice Try and keep the whole song in D minor. Then it will flow a lot better.

Crit the metalcore one in my sig? Thanks.
Schecter C-1 Hellraiser
Ibanez GRG170DX
Peavey Vypyr 75
Fender Princeton 650 DSP w/ Celestion 80w speaker
i think this song has great potential, the intro is amazing, but then the change to the nu-metal kind of verse/chorus etccc doesnt really compliment the beautiful start you had.

Pop Punk is all about Palm Muted, Quaver, Power-Chords. Try looking at Sum-41, Green Day and Blink 182 and look at how they write songs, and look how they compose their intro's into there verses and then how they link into the choruses.

for example

Sum 41 - Fat Lip, In Too Deep
Green Day - Holiday
Blink 182 - Whats My Age Again

crit mine?