#1
the story of one man's first hand experience of injustice and his hope in God...

ENGRAVED IN THE ROCK
http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/Spectrum+GT/music/all/play486843

Like a bad dream, by day and through the night
An open wound turning septic in my sight
I’ve been caught within a net
Hedged in with no way out
I cry aloud but will anybody hear?
I need a friend but no one ventures near
I’m forgotten and despised
All my hope is gone

But I know that my Redeemer lives
He shall stand upon the earth
But I know that my Redeemer lives
And at last I shall see God
Face to face

A courtroom drama, I protest my innocence
Standing in the dock but where is my defence?
When the verdict has been passed
Justice goes astray
No words express the anguish that I feel
I’ve lost my case with no hope of an appeal
Oh that my words were written down
Engraved in rock for all to read

But I know that my Redeemer lives
He shall stand upon the earth
Yes I know that my Redeemer lives
And at last I shall see God
Yes I know, yes I know
My Redeemer lives
Yes I know, yes I know
My Redeemer lives
And at last I shall see God
Face to face

Al
#2
I don't know. I might come back to give you better crit, but I just didn't really get into this one much. The thing that bothered me the most was that in the chorus thing, you say "I know that my Redeemer lives". That's already in a song called "My Redeemer lives" and so whenever I got to that part my mind switched to that song and off of your piece. So I would change that...but that's just me...
#3
I think a lot of the lines seem very forced - "I need a friend but no one ventures near" and "No words express the anguish that I feel" both come to mind instantly. Even "Face to face" seem forced - it's like you really wanted something to round off the stanza, and you tried to fit it within the rythm, but it just ended up being a tacked on line without a real place in the flow.

"All my hope is gone" is very cliché.

It's like, overall, the lyrics doesn't have a lot of flow in the verses while the chorus has an almost unnatural tightness that, coupled with the awkward rythm makes it feel strangled.

I like the imagery of the first two lines, but the awkward rythm is kind of a turnoff.

All in all, your lyrics are powerful, but serious lack of rythm just makes it seem forced and unnatural. I'd revise it heavily.

I really don't mean to put you down. This is my honest opinion, and I do not hold it back in the least, because I myself would want all possible advice I could get. I think that you can improve your technique a lot with relatively simple means.

Hope that this helps you somehow.
AlienFinger79