#1
I wrote this song this morning and I personally really like it. Its kind of sloppy and quality isn't great but I just want to get opinions before refining it.
the song is here.
#3
I actually really liked that, it reminded me of some kind of Green day riff, but ya instead of chords in the middle you could put like some cool drum break and then go into like a really full sounding type chorus with that riff, record it twice and put one track slightly left ear and one slightly right and ya just make it kind of go into a hardcore part with that riff i think that would sound great
#4
Quote by VelvetFireBC491
you have some good ideas, but to me the chords dont flow correctly and the bridge/outro is kinda awkward, but you should definatley keep working on it tho!!

look at https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1021163

dont flow like, a)using the wrong chords or b)rhythmically off..
the outro was part of something I have been trying to write for a while (nothing really worked), now that you say it though I dont really think it fits.
Quote by Arby77
I actually really liked that, it reminded me of some kind of Green day riff, but ya instead of chords in the middle you could put like some cool drum break and then go into like a really full sounding type chorus with that riff, record it twice and put one track slightly left ear and one slightly right and ya just make it kind of go into a hardcore part with that riff i think that would sound great

Thanks for commenting, I was going more for a billy talent sound. But I love Green Day too. So instead of a second or third verse (clean riff) do a drum break and a heavy chorus? right now all i've got for drums are whatever sound loops i can get of the internet
#6
By flow im pretty sure velvet means just like rhythmatically, theres very little to get the user ready to go into osmething different and at times it can be veyr random, especially when you've got those pauses with just no sound, maybe around the segment at 0:30 sustain the last power chord you have before going into the soft part, and with the soft part maybe change the verry last little progression you do before building up to the hard parts again. What are the chords your using for the segment around 0:30?

c4c? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1020637
#8
the chords are: (im not completely sure about the accuracy, I used the gearbox tuner.)



......Chorus pt1.........pt2...............pt3................Verse........
e|-C--Bb--Eb--D----|---C---G---B---Eb-|--Bb--Eb------|---C---G---B--Eb--Eb--
B|-4---3---8---6---|------------------|---3---6------|----------------------
G|-5---3---8---7---|---5--------------|---3---7------|---5------------------
D|-5---3---8---7---|---5---5---6---1--|---3---7------|---5---8---8---3---5--
A|-3---1---6---5---|---3---5---6---1--|---1---5------|---3---5---6---1---1--
D|-----------------|-------5---6---1--|--------------|-------5---6---1---1--


Thanks for the posts though I will work on those parts.
Last edited by DuhSpesoBoyz at Dec 14, 2008,
#9
wow thats incredible, start adjusting it, getting drum ideas down, lyrics, stuff like that
i've love to hear how that turns out
let me know when it does, my friends and i have this cool song going too when we record that for reals i'll show you that
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#11
before you go into the clean part trying noodling around with this transition

play your original part at 0:20 then play an F (barre on 3 while your in drop D) then a G (barre on 5) and sustain the D or just stick with what you had sustained either one should sound good
#12
Quote by AbombO.S.
before you go into the clean part trying noodling around with this transition


this.

But i do like that first riff you play. Im guessing thats some kind of chorus right?
It's kind of hard to judge, cause its nothing very intricate, and there are no other instruments/vocals, but from what i hear it sound pretty dope
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#13
Very nice man, I like this kind of music for listening to every now and then. Only thing I didn't like was the drums. I know you might've been using them as a metronome but you should've deleted them when you finished recording. They kind of killed the mood.

Crit mine? Link in sig.
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