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#1
We all know those yellow people say funny sh*t
gimme some of your best

"we got an anonymous tip that there'd be a strip-didelly-ipper in your house"

homer: fight fight fight fight fight !
*keeps switching ligt on and off*


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Last edited by noxiosimitator at Dec 13, 2008,
#2
Rape. I mean D'oh!
ಠ_ಠ WILL GIVE HEAD

Quote by Myxer
Have to give you props that the funniest post I read in a while
Quote by GogglesVK

hazardmaster has won this thread.


Fender Stratocaster 57' Reissue (Japanese)
Vox Valvetronix AD15VT
#3
Too many...:

Lisa: Bart, Pablo Neruda says "the eyes are the window to the soul."
Bart: I am familiar with the works of Pablo Neruda.

Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.

More if I could remember.
Quote by Teh Forest King
A kid took a fetal pig during pig dissection, put a napkin on it as a cape, wrote "super pig" on it, then threw it out the window onto the greenhouse below, yelling "super pig, blast off!". He failed the pig lab
#5
So long dental plan!

The will be heartache,
there will be rain,
and joy I can't explain.
#8
It was something to the effect of "We'll rob from the rich and give to the poor, then rob the poor and shoot the money!!!"

Cracks me up
Quote by ravioli123
James, a type of sandwich:

A sandwich that consists of ham, turkey, roast beef, shredded cheese, nacho cheese doritos, and ranch on a toasted bun.
"Hey man lets go get a couple James's for lunch"
#9
custard... strawberry...raspberry..purple, mmmmmmmm purple *drools*
Quote by Tatersalad1080
do what jimbleton said


^ i did something good!!

Quote by tjhome28
This.


^ to something i said!

☭UG Socialist Party ☭
#10
To catch flanders i have to think like Flanders

*in homer's head* I'm flanders, I'm a big idiot who wears green sweaters and glasses...

HES AT THE LAKE!!
Quote by fleajr_1412
You have amazing taste in men.


Are You a PROG-HEAD? I am.
#11
Quote by DeaThrash
Spider-pig


SPIDER PIG

SPIDER PIG

Does whatever a SPIDER PIG does

Can he swing

From a web

No he cant

He's a pig

LOOK OOOUUUTTT!!!!

He is a SPIDER PIG!!
#12
So long dental plan!

Oh lmao, I love that one. A bit off topic, but how Homer gets the crayon inserted back to make him stupid again was a touching episode
ಠ_ಠ WILL GIVE HEAD

Quote by Myxer
Have to give you props that the funniest post I read in a while
Quote by GogglesVK

hazardmaster has won this thread.


Fender Stratocaster 57' Reissue (Japanese)
Vox Valvetronix AD15VT
#14
Quote by noxiosimitator
We all know those yellow people say funny sh*t
gimme some of your best

"we got an anonymous tip that there'd be a strip-didelly-ipper in your house"

not funny.
If you want to shine like the sun first you must burn like it.
#15
Quote by Dopey_Trout
To catch flanders i have to think like Flanders

*in homer's head* I'm flanders, I'm a big idiot who wears green sweaters and glasses...

HES AT THE LAKE!!


Further to this:

In homer's head:

Flanders: "Feels like I'm wearin' nothin' at all, nothin' at all, nothin' at all, nothin' at all..."

Homer: "Stupid sexy Flanders!"


aaaaand


Homer: "Looks like they're barkin' up the wrong Bush..."

Homer's mind: "Well, there it is Homer, the smartest thing you'll ever say and no one to hear it..."
R.I.P. My Signature. Lost to us in the great Signature Massacre of 2014.

Quote by Master Foo
“A man who mistakes secrets for knowledge is like a man who, seeking light, hugs a candle so closely that he smothers it and burns his hand.”


Album.
Legion.
#16
"oh, i hate having two heads" -homer
"who invented this stupid thing? was it bart?" -homer
"marge i swear, i didn't think you would ever find out" -homer
"so long dental plan" -lenny
"Hello my name is mister burnes i beleive you have a letter for me" "Ok Mr.burns whats your first name?" "i don't know" -homer
#17
also

"I don't get angry, I get stabby"
-Fat Tony
Quote by fleajr_1412
You have amazing taste in men.


Are You a PROG-HEAD? I am.
#18
"I'll be going to the library tomorrow. Notice I didn't say libary or tomorry"

"You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel..."

And the episode where they go to Australia has so many good quotes.

"Here in America we do not tolerate that kind of crap SIR!"

"You call that a knife? This is a knife!"
"That's not a knife, it's a spoon"
"Alright, you win. I see you've played knifey-spooney before"
╠═══════╬═══════╣

FUZZY FLATPICKER σƒ τλε τρπ βπστλεπλσσδ

╠═══════╬═══════╣


Enjoy occasionally controversial ramblings related to guitars? I have a blog which meets these criteria.
#20
"Max Power he's the man whose name you'd love touch... But you mustn't touch!

His name sounds good in your ear but when you say it you mustn't fear cause his name can be said by anyone!"

---------------------------------------

Homer: Kids there's three ways to do things; the right way, the wrong way and the Max Power way

Bart: Isn't that the wrong way?

Homer: Yeah, but faster!

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Homer: I'm not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman!

---------------------------------------

Homer: 'To start press any key' Where's the any key?!

---------------------------------------

Lisa: I'm going to become a vegetarian

Homer: Does that mean you're not going to eat any pork?

Lisa: Yes

Homer: Bacon?

Lisa: Yes dad

Homer: Ham?

Lisa: Dad all those meats come from the same animal

Homer: Right Lisa, some wonderful, magical animal!
#21
*episode "Homer the Great"* "De-tatch the stone of shame!" "WOOHOO" "Attatch the stone of triumph" "Awwwww!"
Quote by travs2448

How many of you are vegan?
Hopefully none

Does anyone know any fun recipes?
Yeah a big juicy flank steak

What can be done with tofu?
Nothing it taste like crap

Is there such thing as vegan meat? Vegan sausages ect
WTF ARE YOU ON?
#22
Homer, to Lisa having just invented a perpetual motion machine:

"Young lady, in this house we obey the laws of physics!"
R.I.P. My Signature. Lost to us in the great Signature Massacre of 2014.

Quote by Master Foo
“A man who mistakes secrets for knowledge is like a man who, seeking light, hugs a candle so closely that he smothers it and burns his hand.”


Album.
Legion.
#25
Marge- Homer, have you been drinking?

Homer- No! No no no. Well... nine beers.
1996 Fender American Telecaster
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BOSS DS-1, DD3, SD-1, TU-3, NS-2
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#26
Quote by Zaphod_Beeblebr
Homer, to Lisa having just invented a perpetual motion machine:

"Young lady, in this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!"


fix'd
Quote by fleajr_1412
You have amazing taste in men.


Are You a PROG-HEAD? I am.
#27
Moe: "I've been called ugly, fugly, pug ugly and pug fugly"
"What, is my rope untied?"

*lights go out in the tavern, then come back on*
"Alright, when I turn the lights off and on again, I expect all my stuff to be back"
*lights go off then on again*
*moe stood in an empty room in his pants*

Bart: *After being told off for drinking whiskey* "I'm troubled..."

Also im the movie, when Bart scribbles on the wanted poster
Then a family looking just like that walk in
What I just said is a lie.
#31
"Lisa : Mom, you're mixing poly... (can't find out that bit) with polyurethene!"
"Homer : MARGE!!!"

When Homer says that, it made me laugh for hours.
#32
The last funny Line the Simpsons ever had:
Bart: "There's a badger in the dog house"
Homer: "Badger my ass...it's probably Milhouse"

or when Homer starts a Home Security business..On the commercial
"Monster put in Wallet"
#34
Thought of another

Lisa: Come to Homers BBBQ..The extra B is for BYOBB. What's that extra B for?
Homer: That's a typo

Or when Ralph gets excited at the Archeological dig
Ralph: Prin-skipper-skipple..uh..princtaple-skimster...I found something! It's a spearhead!
Mrs Hoover: That's your trowel blade Ralph...it fell off the handle
Ralph: And I FOUND IT!

Same Episode
Homer: Let me through I got here late!
#36


When Marge is getting everyone to clean the house, and Homer says something along the lines of "Why must everything be so clean, are we so vain?"

Another one I like, when Bart gives Homer a coupon book for his birthday.

Homer: Wow! A Valu-Qual coupon book! Let's see ... ten
percent off carpet cleaning. Ten! [gasps] Two pizzas
for the price of one at Doughy's!

Lisa: Doughy's has terrible pizza!

Homer: Yeah, but there's two!

Marge: Ooh, free foot pain analysis.

Homer: Oh, Marge, that's a trick to get you in there so they
can cure your foot pain.

Marge: Oh, I guess. [limps off toward the kitchen]

Homer: See ya, kids! Me and my Valu-Qual coupon book are gonna
paint the town red, with savings! I'll start with a
couple of pizzas, then a complimentary tango lesson, and
I'll cap it off with a smooth, refreshing colonic.
#37
Homer - You'll have to speak up I'm wearing a towel

Lisa - World Domination?
Homer - Mental note. The girl knows too much.
#39
Bart: "Dirty. *hand fart* Booger. *hand fart*"
[Kids laugh]
Skinner: "I'll have none of that potty mouth."
Bart: "The principal said "Potty"!"

Ralph: "Hello, Super Nintendo Charmers."
#40
"Marge, is Lisa at Camp Granada?"

*In a bar, Barney walks past drunk, Banner smashes the window*
Banner: Alright, Rummy! I'm gonna say it once and I'm gonna make it clear! Where'd you pinch the hooch? Is some blind tiger soaking suds on the side?
Barney: Er... yes?