#1
[C4C]
I'd appreciate hearing title ideas as well, because I'm at a loss of ideas.
This is played acoustically.

I’m opening doors just to close them
I get the feeling that you’re doing the same
So tell me which one am I, and I will tell you the same
I’ll tell you all the things you’ve asked for me to say

Now all that I can see are your taillights fading fast
I’m wondering what it is that made you turn and go back
Did god send out the message to the ones I loved?
Did he tell them I’m no good?
If so then god you’ve got some explaining to do

And I’m talking to walls so I don’t’ feel so god damn lonely
But even then it feels like, no one listens

I heard you crying in your sleep
Were you dreaming about me?
If so then tell me, and next time I’ll wake you
So you don’t waste your precious tears on me

So I called you on the phone just to hear your voice, it sounded sweet
But the line was disconnected just seconds before those three
Words fell from your mouth, but you didn’t want ‘em to
But I did, more than anything else
#2
nice song.......im not great at naming songs but maybe.....heavenly nightmare?......bleeding for you?..... scared intentions?......i dont know man any of those sound ok? sometimes i look at books and dvd titles and just take words and put them together and it just works most of the time.you'll at least get a couple different ideas. hopefully ive been able to help at least a little bit
#3
idk...

ill let someone else break this down but for the title advice, i think this kind of song should have one that has personal meaning to you, that the audience wont understand when they hear it. because for you it reminds you the whole purpose of why you wrote it and it makes the listener use their imagination to try and connect the title to the lyrics.
#4
I had considered "Nobody Listens" but it seems a bit cliche and that's not what I want to go for. I like the idea of just a personal thing that is emotionally connected with the song though.
#5
Quote by lespaulsg09
[C4C]
I'd appreciate hearing title ideas as well, because I'm at a loss of ideas.
This is played acoustically.

I’m opening doors just to close them
I get the feeling that you’re doing the same
So tell me which one am I, and I will tell you the same
I’ll tell you all the things you’ve asked for me to say
I don't really like using same and same, but I suppose there's artistic value if you're playing on the definition of same. Still, I'd try and change that

Now all that I can see are your taillights fading fast
I’m wondering what it is that made you turn and go back
Did god send out the message to the ones I loved?
Did he tell them I’m no good?
If so then god you’ve got some explaining to do
At first I thought this was a little weak, but it's not really. Especially the last line because it can have multiple meanings; That God has some explaining to do, and that "Gosh, (insert girl this song is insprited by) you need to explain this to me"

And I’m talking to walls so I don’t’ feel so god damn lonely
But even then it feels like, no one listens
A little bit cliche, but I've written similar lines.

I heard you crying in your sleep
Were you dreaming about me?
If so then tell me, and next time I’ll wake you
So you don’t waste your precious tears on me
Again, a little cliche and wishy-washy, but the message is necessary

So I called you on the phone just to hear your voice, it sounded sweet
But the line was disconnected just seconds before those three
Words fell from your mouth, but you didn’t want ‘em to
But I did, more than anything else
I like this last line, I can relate to it

It took me a few readings to really get this piece, but the last two stanzas reminded me of what's going on between me and my ex. We still love each other, but she doesn't want to be with me. I feel like that's what this piece is trying to say, and it actually made me kind of sad. It cut off before she could say "I love you" and she was going to say it even though she doesn't want to love you like that anymore, and the only thing you want in the entire world is just to hear her say she does love you.

Message of the piece: 11/10, bonus points for making me want to cry
Actual delivery of it: 7/10 it just didn't feel like a solid song to me. Maybe i'd just need to hear it.


c4c on "On Langston Hughes" in my sig?


EDIT: I forgot to give you a title! If this were my song I'd call it "Camry Queen" but that's due to the meaning it has to me. This song needs a title like that, one that hits home to you and no one else.
Last edited by JakdOnCrack at Dec 14, 2008,
#6
^ Got it right.

I liked this.
There's only one thing we can do to thwart the plot of these albino shape-shifting lizard BITCHES!