#1
LET BLOOD FLOW!!!!

(Verse 1)
From the tip of your sword
Drips the blood of a brother
You show no remorse
Slaying oneafter another
This war of arrogance
Too arrogant to talk it out
Killing to fullfil past failures
Not knowing what it's about

(Prechorus)
Killing to prove a point...
POINT PROVEN

(CHorus)
Stop...
War...
Now...
What's the point of all this violence
With so many lives at stake
Over...
Come...
Pride...
You destroy so many lives
To stop you, what will it take

(Verse 2)
Every one that drops
Adds guilt to mix
You have the chance to stop
But that would kill your fix
You are a homicidal maniac
And will always get away with it
You care not about your people
You just don't give a ****

(chorus)
(Bridge X4)
Bring our Boys home...
No one deserves to die this way...

(Breakdown)
(Chorus X2)

this is a political song, again constructive criticism only if you've got nothing constructive to say please don't say it, thanx will crit 4 crit
#2
Quote by relicmusic1990
LET BLOOD FLOW!!!!
Assuming this is just some shouted intro, I hope you aren't one to take your music too seriously. As long as you know it's a little cheesey, go ahead and keep it

(Verse 1)
From the tip of your sword
Drips the blood of a brother
You show no remorse
Slaying one after another
This war of arrogance
Too arrogant to talk it out
Find a synonym for one of those arrogance/arrogant. May i suggest "Too self-righteous"
Killing to fulfill past failures
Not knowing what it's about
Allusion to the Bush administration finish what Bush Sr. didn't accomplish, well played.

(Prechorus)
Killing to prove a point...
POINT PROVEN
Eh, I actually like the point proven for the same reason as the intro

(CHorus)
Stop...
War...
Now...
What's the point of all this violence
With so many lives at stake
Over...
Come...
Pride...
You destroy so many lives
To stop you, what will it take
I like what you have to say here. Maybe a bit blunt, but it gets its point across

(Verse 2)
Every one that drops
Adds guilt to mix
You have the chance to stop
But that would kill your fix
You are a homicidal maniac
And will always get away with it
You care not about your people
You just don't give a ****

(chorus)
(Bridge X4)
Bring our Boys home...
No one deserves to die this way...
I wrote a song basically using these exact words

(Breakdown)
(Chorus X2)

this is a political song, again constructive criticism only if you've got nothing constructive to say please don't say it, thanx will crit 4 crit


This seems like it'd be a kind of tongue-in-cheek song, but with a serious message. Like, it doesn't take itself too seriously, yet still has a real message.

7.5/10


Crit "On Langston Hughes" in my sig?
#4
this is a metal song so the most of it is screamed anyway i just made sure people knew that the intro is def. screamed, thank you for the crit appreciate it