#1
Free verse is like free jazz
Utter garbage and retarded
Noodling along with thoughts
It makes no sense
Not even to its maker

Some try to grasp the concept
Others pass it off as pretentious
Because that's what it is, mostly
And when someone makes a remark
That has a positive outlook on it
You nod, as if you intended it that way
In the first place.
#2
Im not sure how exactly to respond, but as far as the writing is concerned the lyrics aren't very cohesive.
ZOMGhackNIGRA:wtf is bag a bitch holla mean?
ZOMGhackNIGRA:is that like
ZOMGhackNIGRA:a country road?
Counter50Strike:you should tell him to quit speaking ebonics..or you will start speaking gingerbonics

Im priceless.
#3
Quote by Breakingpoint56
Im not sure how exactly to respond, but as far as the writing is concerned the lyrics aren't very cohesive.


That much is shown with the rest of the response.
#4
Quote by strawberryJAMZ
That much is shown with the rest of the response.


I also believe the piece isn't really cohesive towards a pointed thought. I read it and thought "okay, why should I care?".
#5
Quote by Ninjamonkey767
I also believe the piece isn't really cohesive towards a pointed thought. I read it and thought "okay, why should I care?".


I read your response and thought "okay, why should I care?".
#6
^ i agree you dont really make it clear to the reader/listener the message your trying to convey


EDIT: and strawberryjamz hes just trying to help you no matter how harsh it is. theres no need to get hostile about it
#7
Quote by strawberryJAMZ
I read your response and thought "okay, why should I care?".


I don't think this place is what you're looking for. You're not going to enjoy the people here.
#8
Quote by Ninjamonkey767
I don't think this place is what you're looking for. You're not going to enjoy the people here.


You are good at enforcing your point on that one, slugger.
#9
It's a satire on free verse writing, you know, the thing many of you seemingly hold closest to your heart.

You're really not as deep as you fool yourself into believing with this stuff.
#11
Seems ok.

If he doesn't want to learn from your comments, ninja. That is his prerogative, just don't comment on anything anymore.

Strawberry, please refrain from double posting, it brings your piece to the top of the que over and over, and is frowned upon.

They are right by the way, I got the point you were making... but you didn't develop it too well.
#12
TS Don't knock that which you don't understand.
I occasionally find poems that I don't get, and I move on. There are poems that I connect with that others don't understand, things like this are a part of life.

And the poem: cliche, it made me think you were a troll your point was so clear.