#1
So I was browsing through some of my old material on my computer and came across a poem/rap I wrote back in highschool to perform to the whole school while debating the removal of the art room to make room for a new math class.

(we did have 2 art rooms but i felt it was nessecary to have them both.)

Also, This may seem a little off sylable or something. It has pauses to make some words stand out more then others. if you do seem to have trouble with it my best suggestion is to say it outloud and alow your breathing to decide where the pauses are.

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Before the brush hits the canvis a discission is made.

With the first stroke you examine and the choice has been changed.

And art is not a way to gain, or a game that we play.

But more of a way to explain our life and all the choices we made.

So be blank and punish the arts. We walk the plank to show our hearts.

But its hard with acidemic eyes closed, to whats around us exposed.

We who arose are now the ones who back down. With a frown on our face, we hide the shame but its you who show disgrace.

Of a leadership so lost in its ways. with a new path to pave, your satisfaction comes with a price you cant pay.

And all the rights of what we once had now are hidden away. Like a mime has a voicebox but has nothing to say.

But today, we start all over. Tommorow youll all be sober. Youll claim your sidewalks unclean when we take art to the streets.

And youll complain but a heart is only shown in two ways

Way 1 you slowly ease it out with care and with love, till its tamed.

But way 2 is a better example for you and ill explain.

Take a knife and dig it out, while ignoring the pain.

And when this heart stops beating. As all the arts depleating. A new generation will rise and bring the art back to your lives.

And the only thing youll find in time, is irony.


Have a good night.


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Ps dont say anything about spelling, I know im bad at it.
Last edited by I__guitarist__I at Dec 15, 2008,
#2
Wow, I'm not a fan of rap in the least, but I really liked this piece for some reason. I could see where there may have been rhythm issues in one or two places but they were barely noticeable and easy to fix. Nice work.

It was the only task I would undertake...

I P R O G
...to reap the harvest that was mine


- [ P R O G - H E A D ? ] -
#3
In honesty im not a fan of most rap. Mainly because 99% of rap today is gangster rap.

If you enjoyed this I highly suggest looking up shad k. He inspired me to try rap.
#4
wow, 5/5 great rap.

My favorite line: "And all the rights of what we once had now are hidden away. Like a mime has a voice box but has nothing to say."

The only thing I would change is the word "made", in the forth line, to "make". It gives a sort of feeling of hope, unless that's not what your looking for. Either way, amazing stuff.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1023710
#6
Quote by gamebreaker
wow, 5/5 great rap.

My favorite line: "And all the rights of what we once had now are hidden away. Like a mime has a voice box but has nothing to say."

The only thing I would change is the word "made", in the forth line, to "make". It gives a sort of feeling of hope, unless that's not what your looking for. Either way, amazing stuff.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1023710


Though it would add a little power to the start, I was more making a lead up, also using past to present to future. If I said make it would learn more into the present.

if u get what im saying.