#1
new song, like about war and bad memories that haunt you

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

we set with rifles and shotguns
dodging the bullets and shells jumping out
we're fighting something
we're fighting the dark
we're fighting something
that's just not there

Fighting the dark
we bite down on our tongues
choking on the oxygen
we lose the fight again
why are we stuck out here?
im so full of panic
someone save me
from myself

wars burnning holes into my throat
hoping terror to die amidst me tonight
end this endless war
end this motionless war
fight the horrors
of my past

Fighting the dark
we bite down on our tongues
choking on the oxygen
we lose the fight again
why are we stuck out here?
im so full of panic
someone save me
from myself

someone save me
save me
From myself!
from myself
someone save me from myself
Myspace.

Quote by djmay71
it wasn't 7 days, it was 5.

and you call yourself the son of catholics

Quote by hugh20
I would keep it on my mantel piece and tell my grandchildren about the day I tried to overthrow the human race with my race of tree-men.
#2
I going to assume you have PTSD or know someone close to you who has PTSD...
please correct me if I'm wrong...

with that a crit...


we set with rifles and shotguns
dodging the bullets and shells jumping out
we're fighting something
we're fighting the dark
we're fighting something
that's just not there

Some interesting images here, i would re think the "Jumping" I think there is a more terrifying or destructive term for a bullet on its way toward a human being. Also here I think your jumping the gun on introducing the dream as the enemy, a little more development is needed


Fighting the dark
we bite down on our tongues
choking on the oxygen
we lose the fight again
why are we stuck out here?
im so full of panic
someone save me
from myself

Here I'm not sure what fight has been lost, is it always dark now? or did the something win? I think you trying to show inner battle of the soldier, but what are the two sides?


wars burnning holes into my throat
hoping terror to die amidst me tonight
end this endless war
end this motionless war
fight the horrors
of my past

I like this part it starts to bring into perspective that the experience is still very much engulfing this persons life

Fighting the dark
we bite down on our tongues
choking on the oxygen
we lose the fight again
why are we stuck out here?
im so full of panic
someone save me
from myself

someone save me
save me
From myself!
from myself
someone save me from myself

Overall it seems that you have a general sense of how PTSD effects an individual, and you portray the confusion of it. But I think you hurried it. I think it would be much stronger with more personal information, and a closer eye towards setting up a protagonist and antagonist. I've actually got a piece on PTSD I've been working on and i give to props for doing something on it. like I said before i don't know what your experience with the PTSD is, but my girlfriend returned home from Iraq and was diagnosed with PTSD. Its going to be a major problem when more and more troops come home and sadly it will likely go without much care from the government, and like the war its a potential life killer!
Stay quiet...