#1
This is an acoustic metal instrumental that i wrote. It is in A Minor, and was influenced by Death's Voice of the Soul. Thanks!!!
Attachments:
Metal Instrumental.zip
Last edited by bulletrocks522 at Dec 17, 2008,
#2
Quote by bulletrocks522
This is an acoustic metal instrumental that i wrote. It is in A Minor, and was influenced by Death's Voice of the Soul. Please take the fact that im only 13 into consideration.


I just have to say this, it really annoys me when you keep posting your age on here, nobody really cares how old you are, to be honest. You're an awesome songwriter, but I really feel that you should let your music be judged for what it is, instead of constantly bringing attention to your age.
#3
I found that both the start and end were a bit abrupt, which is somewhat of a shame considering how enjoyable everything inbetween was.

Aside from perhaps expanding on the outro and making the beginning a bit less sudden, I must say that the whole piece was quite fun. I'm not really feeling the Death influence as much as I expected to given your textual introduction, but I've taken influences and written something that sounds completely unrelated before, so I won't contest you on it.

From a purely GP point of view, I'd really suggest watching those volume levels. Not everything has to be on 16, and things were getting a bit wacky when all of the instruments were playing, which made some of those distorted sections a bit less attractive than they should have been.

And I really don't think it's worth mentioning your age. We all develop different skills at different speeds. It's not that impressive.

Don't know if you're up for C4C, but my piece here might interest you a bit.
#6
Quote by bulletrocks522
Actually crit my song, dont be annoying like that.


He did have a good point though, but thank you for editing that out of your post, it makes you seem a lot more mature as an artist.
#9
i was being honest, for an age of 13 (if it's true), this is impressive...
giving advises like that makes u look jealous,
and of course u're not jealous from a 13 years old kid! unless your at his age
#10
Quote by tiammetadeth
i was being honest, for an age of 13 (if it's true), this is impressive...
giving advises like that makes u look jealous,
and of course u're not jealous from a 13 years old kid! unless your at his age


He means you weren't being descriptive enough, describe why you like it, and what changes could be made for the artist to improve on, just saying "I like it" really doesn't help the composer much at all.

Man, I've done a good job of bumping your thread haven't I bullet?
#11
Quote by SOADisdabest
He means you weren't being descriptive enough, describe why you like it, and what changes could be made for the artist to improve on, just saying "I like it" really doesn't help the composer much at all.

Man, I've done a good job of bumping your thread haven't I bullet?


u might be right, but i didnt see any descriptive crits from him...
in fact i'm just motivating this kid, i have nothing more to tell him about this peace
it's better then posing and posting nonsense and acting like i know a lot
#12
Quote by tiammetadeth
u might be right, but i didnt see any descriptive crits from him...
in fact i'm just motivating this kid, i have nothing more to tell him about this peace
it's better then posing and posting nonsense and acting like i know a lot


He wasn't critting, I'm guessing he was just trying to let you know that with a crit like that you can't really expect much in return.
#13
Quote by SOADisdabest
He wasn't critting, I'm guessing he was just trying to let you know that with a crit like that you can't really expect much in return.

i feel like we are lawyers, in a stupid court!
#15
Quote by voidSkipper
I feel like we're sort of derailing this poor chap's thread..

Yep, you are. Thanks for the crits everyone!!!
#16
I enjoyed it, but I didn't like how so much of the intro is based around that

E-0
B-0
G-5
D-7
A-0
E-

chord, it's incredibly overused.
I'LL PUNCH A DONKEY IN THE STREETS OF GALWAY
#17
You really need to learn to write correct percussion patterns.
Your leads are feelingless and disgustingly repetative.
Whole note, Eighth notes, Whole note, Eighth notes.
There's no feeling whatsoever. (As I expected due to the influence).
The same use of B9 and CMadd13 with a mixed F in there really bored me.
It looks like an attempt to make an atmospheric song, it has potential.
Good luck.
3/10
Quote by Cobain_is_king

Seth: 1
A7X: 0
#18
Hmm.... this is a pretty good instrumental. Like Seth, I don't like the leads much but I really liked the rest of the song. I liked the dissonance in the chords used and somehow the 7/8 seemed unnecessary but it may have just been me. The only problem with the leads was the harmonized parts and how standard it seemed to sound. However I think the song is better than his poor rating of 3/10, this is obviously a bit better than a 3/10.

My rating is 6/10, which is not bad. I give it that rating on the basis that a 5 is average, and I would say this is above average. If you fix the leads up and maybe made it a bit less repetitive it would become a 7.5/10, a good score. Also, no C4C is necessary but if you want to anyway I would suggest Garret.