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#1
So. My band were practicing the other day at the guitarists house. We were hapily playing along, doing just fine without vocals. The the guitarists mate decides to come along, who is a complete twat. He comes into the practice room, picks up and amp, plugs it in, plugs in a mic and starts screaming and shouting the most pathetic excuse i have ever heard for metal singing. We carry on playing, hoping he is joking. He doesn't stop.

After about 15 minutes of this shit, we stop playing. It's at this point where he decides to invite himself in the band. Being a friend of a friend i didn't want to offend him too much to his face and i was like "its a possibility yeah, we'll get back to you" Practice over.

Now, he keeps contacting me, msn, phone, in person and will not stop talking about the band he is suppodesdly in. He writes shitty, shitty lyrics and persistentely annoys the turd out of me.

I want to kick him out, but my other guitarist (his friend wants to keep him in) the drummer and bassist are impartial and really don't care.

So yeah, any advice on how to get him out of the band nicely, or any similar stories of people like this.
NOIZE
#5
Everybody is annoying.
Here's what the critics are saying about Hanzi_G:

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SIG ME GODDAMMIT
#7
Tell everyone in your band to stand in a line, then say "Ok, everyone who's still in the band take on step forwar- whoah not so fast, annoying singer guy!"
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#8
let him down easy

thats the best way

if you need a sppch to give ot him, cal me
The UN-exiled one.
#9
Quote by metaldud536
My god people are dumb. How can your other band members not care? Just tell him to f*ck off.


... basically what I was going to say, so I suppose i'll give this a +1

Quote by Kensai
Tell everyone in your band to stand in a line, then say "Ok, everyone who's still in the band take on step forwar- whoah not so fast, annoying singer guy!"


< been a while since I've done that around these parts.
#10
just tell him to go f*** a goat. I would have done that after he came in screaming that bad and wasn't joking.
Quote by Bloodavian
Its not about the Radio its about talent, the front man has a bigger vocal range than Micheal Jackson and he can sing from heavey metal to high pitched ...No.12 on the top 20 under rated guitarists of ALL TIME...etc

1-Bloodavian 0-Forkman.

^Fail^
#12
Tell him to **** off,

Why dont people have any backbone when it comes to band related tiffs?
multicolour random messge!

FAC 13
"The hacienda must be rebuilt"
#13
YOU SEE ME LYING THER BLOD DRIPPNG FOM MY FACE
YOUR A ****ING DISCRACE !
WHAT I BELIEVE IN IS NO RELIGION!

A beautiful example of some of his lyrics he put forward. No he's not retarded. And before you asked, I have spoke to him and said maybe the band isn't working out, but he didnt get the message, any more "brutally" and I could have a bit of a row on my hands and I don't want that as the other band members are my best friends.
NOIZE
#14
Quote by Kensai
Tell everyone in your band to stand in a line, then say "Ok, everyone who's still in the band take on step forwar- whoah not so fast, annoying singer guy!"


I like this idea.
#15
some guy was exactly the same with me, he started singing jingle bells and thought he wud be good for a metal band, my whole band hated him and told him to **** off, thats how you deal with it
Wait.



Roger Waters - 12th May!
#16
Quote by Kensai
Tell everyone in your band to stand in a line, then say "Ok, everyone who's still in the band take on step forwar- whoah not so fast, annoying singer guy!"


Definetely an idea
NOIZE
#17
Quote by Kensai
Tell everyone in your band to stand in a line, then say "Ok, everyone who's still in the band take on step forwar- whoah not so fast, annoying singer guy!"


#18
tell him if he really wants to be in the band he should take some singing lessons before you'll consider him
#19
If your bassist and drummer don't care, either he isn't as ****ty as you make him out to be, or this band isn't going to last. Members who don't care are going to quit when it comes to anything difficult.
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#21
Do Kensai's idea.

Or...

Get your band together, and hand each one of the members a fake gun that shoots ketchup. Tell them all, if you want to stay in the band, you have to kill yourself. Then, you and the entire real band, proceeds to "shoot" yourself, thereby freaking this guy out, and causing him to think you're zombies when you seem him again.

My things:
Bowes SLx7
Washburn WG587
Washburn X40Pro
Washburn X50
Washburn HM24
Washburn WR150
Laguna LE200s
Arietta Acoustic
First Act
Valveking 112
VHT Deliverance

#22
seems like kensai and metaldud always come up with the best responses
Quote by Bloodavian
Its not about the Radio its about talent, the front man has a bigger vocal range than Micheal Jackson and he can sing from heavey metal to high pitched ...No.12 on the top 20 under rated guitarists of ALL TIME...etc

1-Bloodavian 0-Forkman.

^Fail^
#23
Quote by wtf290
If your bassist and drummer don't care, either he isn't as ****ty as you make him out to be, or this band isn't going to last. Members who don't care are going to quit when it comes to anything difficult.

It's not that they don't care, it's just they are in the band to play their respective instruments and effectively me and the other guitarists are leading the band.

Ok, maybe they dont care.
NOIZE
#24
Quote by alteredgod
It's not that they don't care, it's just they are in the band to play their respective instruments and effectively me and the other guitarists are leading the band.

Ok, maybe they dont care.


who sings? (I mean who really sings in the band, not this guy who thinks hes in the band)
Quote by Bloodavian
Its not about the Radio its about talent, the front man has a bigger vocal range than Micheal Jackson and he can sing from heavey metal to high pitched ...No.12 on the top 20 under rated guitarists of ALL TIME...etc

1-Bloodavian 0-Forkman.

^Fail^
#25
Is That You Iain. I Knew You Didn't Want Me In The Band. Tomorrow At School I'm Gonna Kick Your Ass You Pussy.
#26
When he starts to yell and thrash around the canteen/dining area in agony, make sure you and your band hold him down trying to see what could be wrong with him. When blood suddenly shoots out of his chest, thats when you worry. Just cover your eyes when a baby alien bursts out of his chest...


Wait...Wrong scenario...
#27
Quote by Les Paul Ell
Is That You Iain. I Knew You Didn't Want Me In The Band. Tomorrow At School I'm Gonna Kick Your Ass You Pussy.

Fail. Thats not my name.


And once we were generally improved as a band, the guitarist and i were gonna give dual vocals ago.

I should probably clarify im one of the guitarists as i dont think i made it clear.
NOIZE
#28
Why does everybody have to be so spineless nowadays? Just tell him he can't sing, and that he's not in the band. A band isn't just some thing you can invite yourself into, etc.

Please, if you want him out, make him get out. Make it so hard for him to stay or something, start jamming along to some jazz or indie if he's a metal head, that should put him off.
Ego inflating praise here:
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That is SOOOOOOOOOOO sig worthy! Pure awesomeness to you, sir.

C wut I did thar Fishy?

's UG
#29
Quote by valennic
Do Kensai's idea.

Or...

Get your band together, and hand each one of the members a fake gun that shoots ketchup. Tell them all, if you want to stay in the band, you have to kill yourself. Then, you and the entire real band, proceeds to "shoot" yourself, thereby freaking this guy out, and causing him to think you're zombies when you seem him again.

+1..awesome idea but...just tell him its not working out
#30
Quote by Les Paul Ell
Is That You Iain. I Knew You Didn't Want Me In The Band. Tomorrow At School I'm Gonna Kick Your Ass You Pussy.



lol someones full of sh!t
Quote by Bloodavian
Its not about the Radio its about talent, the front man has a bigger vocal range than Micheal Jackson and he can sing from heavey metal to high pitched ...No.12 on the top 20 under rated guitarists of ALL TIME...etc

1-Bloodavian 0-Forkman.

^Fail^
#31
Quote by alteredgod
YOU SEE ME LYING THER BLOD DRIPPNG FOM MY FACE
YOUR A ****ING DISCRACE !
WHAT I BELIEVE IN IS NO RELIGION!


A SKELETON SCREAMS AT ME AND TRIES TO STEAL MY POWER!
BUT MY CHARIOT IS TOO FAST FOR HIS BONY LEG!

#32
Quote by dgme92
Why does everybody have to be so spineless nowadays? Just tell him he can't sing, and that he's not in the band. A band isn't just some thing you can invite yourself into, etc.

Please, if you want him out, make him get out. Make it so hard for him to stay or something, start jamming along to some jazz or indie if he's a metal head, that should put him off.





But....I like jazz...and I's a metalhead

My things:
Bowes SLx7
Washburn WG587
Washburn X40Pro
Washburn X50
Washburn HM24
Washburn WR150
Laguna LE200s
Arietta Acoustic
First Act
Valveking 112
VHT Deliverance

#33
Quote by dgme92
Why does everybody have to be so spineless nowadays? Just tell him he can't sing, and that he's not in the band. A band isn't just some thing you can invite yourself into, etc.

Jeez, at least read the posts, I'm trying to avoid early problems in the band. We have to do it as nicely as possible as the other guitarists wants to remain friends, and we have already tryed the obvious way. (It's not working out)
NOIZE
#34
Quote by Rockford_rocks
A SKELETON SCREAMS AT ME AND TRIES TO STEAL MY POWER!
BUT MY CHARIOT IS TOO FAST FOR HIS BONY LEG!


Sounds like something he would come out with
NOIZE
#36
Quote by David_Bowie=GOD
seems like kensai and metaldud always come up with the best responses


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#37
Quote by Jericho114


and?
Quote by Bloodavian
Its not about the Radio its about talent, the front man has a bigger vocal range than Micheal Jackson and he can sing from heavey metal to high pitched ...No.12 on the top 20 under rated guitarists of ALL TIME...etc

1-Bloodavian 0-Forkman.

^Fail^
#38
Quote by David_Bowie=GOD
and?

I think he/she's implying that you're a kiss-arse. Could be wrong.

Fine TS, if you're guitarist wants to remain friends, leave him in the band until some big event comes about, like recording or something, and all of a sudden this newbie will realise he doesn't have what it takes to be a recording artist.

This is of course, presuming you guys do record, right?
Ego inflating praise here:
Quote by Fishyesque
That is SOOOOOOOOOOO sig worthy! Pure awesomeness to you, sir.

C wut I did thar Fishy?

's UG
#39
Quote by dgme92
I think he/she's implying that you're a kiss-arse. Could be wrong.



I know that, I meant the and? like I was saying So what?
Quote by Bloodavian
Its not about the Radio its about talent, the front man has a bigger vocal range than Micheal Jackson and he can sing from heavey metal to high pitched ...No.12 on the top 20 under rated guitarists of ALL TIME...etc

1-Bloodavian 0-Forkman.

^Fail^
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