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#3
My entire family died in a plane crash and I am a vegetable.
Bishop of Zeppelinism PM The Heartbreaker to join.

Quote by Duff_McGee
Everyone knows that the day the Metallica ends, the world ends.
#6
I'm too sick to work today.
grok it.

SKREAM!

Listen to jazz, it's good for you...
#7
your penis blew up?
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
i love me some bunnys



--> --> --> -->

Anybody up for a WookieCore Band? You let me know.

Watch me as i Rock on...
#8
Flu/cold/whatever-rando-bug-is-going-around-your-area/hyperactive fapatosis.

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#9
grandma's having surgery. works every time.
GO HUSKERS!

12/5/1993 --R.I.P. J.J.S.-- 6/4/2010
#10
attacked by a squirrel?
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
i love me some bunnys



--> --> --> -->

Anybody up for a WookieCore Band? You let me know.

Watch me as i Rock on...
#11
Pooped your pants, and all your other pairs are in the wash?
grok it.

SKREAM!

Listen to jazz, it's good for you...
#12
Car wouldn't start, hit an animal of somesort, like a deer or something??
#14
Hydraulic Diarrhea
Then there's this band called Slice The Cake...

Bunch of faggots putting random riffs together and calling it "progressive" deathcore.
Stupid name.
Probably picked "for teh lulz"

Mod in UG's Official Gain Whores
#15
wow apparantly most here have never had jobs. food poisioning is good for three days but only works once. try pulling one of your spark plug wires to simulate a poorly running car after calling off for a no start excuse will earn you some credibality. best way to consistantly call off of work is to complain about things that could cause you to miss work in advance like sick kid that might need surgery or impending jury duty so that when it "happens" it wont seem like a whim to get off of work for a day.
#16
"Hey Mr..." yeah Im sorry but I wont be able to make it to work today."

"you better have a damn good excuse Symbols!"

"well, its family emergencies. My uncle XXXXXXX just crashed his motorcycle, and I need to go to the hospital. You see, I was his first nephew, and my father named me after him. He is in a critical condition and it would mean the world to him and me If we could spend his last moments on earth together. "

*single tear rolls down his cheeck*
"My prayers are with you"
Quote by TunerAddict,mdawg24
+Infinity

Listen to ExtremeMetalFTW, he knows what he is talking about...

Quote by vmanoman
I clicked System Restore and it said "System Restore Is Unable To Protect You".

^^SO KVLT!!
#17
Quote by MichaelOfCanton
wow apparantly most here have never had jobs....

The Pit is full time
grok it.

SKREAM!

Listen to jazz, it's good for you...
#18
you went in for a colonoscopy
you get a terrible flesh eating infection in your leg causing it to be amputated
then somehow your infection spread across your body causing you to go into a coma and almost die

you are now a vegetable
#19
what kinda girl issue is worth loosing money over, if you dont mind me asking?
#20
depending on age, could say school function/child's school function...

car broke, injury, sick, chronic halitosis... i think the last one should work for you since you're in retail :P
#21
Rape.
I'm here to help

Quote by Jimbleton
ok, as usual pit is being very unhelpful except andychalmers, so im gonna go post this someplace else


And a master of storytelling...

Quote by Jackolas
andychalmers102, that story is awesome.
#22
Quote by jymellis
what kinda girl issue is worth loosing money over, if you dont mind me asking?

Some certain mature people have relationships they actually get something out of.

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#23
Quote by TheAmericanRuse
i'm having trouble with my eyes. i can't see coming in to work today.

ahahaahahahah nice pun
#24
Quote by SteveHouse
Some certain mature people have relationships they actually get something out of.


then
loss of money = sex?
wouldnt it be easier to buy a hooker
#25
Quote by Gates67
then
loss of money = sex?
wouldnt it be easier to buy a hooker

You just proved my point, you did. I appreciate it.

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#26
Just say your sick they cant prove whether you are or not so you should be good with that one
Ibanez RG7321
Jackson Randy Rhoads V with Floyd Rose
Peavey Valveking 112
Digitech RP70 Guitar Processor
#28
Quote by Gates67
then
loss of money = sex?
wouldnt it be easier to buy a hooker

Yes it totally would because its notprostitution is illegal or anything, and its totally safe to have sex with hookers.yes youre compleletly right
Quote by TunerAddict,mdawg24
+Infinity

Listen to ExtremeMetalFTW, he knows what he is talking about...

Quote by vmanoman
I clicked System Restore and it said "System Restore Is Unable To Protect You".

^^SO KVLT!!
#29
dude, i have been married for 12 years. is it your wife? i want to know what is so important you have to call of work. its called being a responsible adult.
#30
dude he's getting laid

ease off of his nut sack. Just because you've been married for 12 years and are a "responsible adult" doesn't mean everyone else should also follow suit. If a guy wants off work to go do some stuff, leave him alone. It's his bank account that will take a hit, not yours.

and to be on topic, where I work, if you call in sick, they ask for a doctors note. You might be ok with the relative in the hospital idea.
Quote by darksauce
EmeraldXecution, you are awesome.


Balls to the Walls
Last edited by EmeraldXecution at Dec 18, 2008,
#31
Tell them you were masturbating and you put an eye out. Then start crying and say "MOM WAS RIGHT", please, it would be awesome and record it and put it on Youtube then give me the link so I can distribute it to all my friends then it will get to everyone and will be the most popular video on Youtube. Or you can just say you aren't feeling well, I personally would go with option 2.
Quote by bradulator
Iceland has the coolest women.
#32
"i've got the ****s... like really, really bad dude. i mean... unless you want me to **** myself at work... sigh, I'll never eat indian food again... seriously"

it worked for me.
"Recycling and speed limits are bullshit...They're like someone who quits smoking on his deathbed."
#33
bad raviolli

got the mud butt

not comin in today


my buddy used it and it worked, with only a slight hassel
Quote by darksauce
EmeraldXecution, you are awesome.


Balls to the Walls
Last edited by EmeraldXecution at Dec 18, 2008,
#35
Your girlfriend dumped you and you have to go to her house and get some of your stuff, and because of this you are mentally unstable. You are going to go to your bestfriends house to talk and get some cheering up. Apologize and say I just feel I need this one day to get closure. Unless your boss is a dick you should be fine.
#36
Major lulz @ fat kid jumping.

EDIT: sorry, wrong firefox tab.

ON TOPIC: go for food poisoning. Just say you ate chinese food or something and don't feel very good but you'll try to come in later if you get any better.
Originally Posted by evening_crow
Quoting yourself is cool.


WARNING: I kill threads.
Last edited by evening_crow at Dec 18, 2008,
#37
You were getting gas and accidentally spilled some on your clothes. You then went to smell, to see if it was on your shirt and forgot you had a cigarette in your mouth..
The most talented man on earth...
#38
Use a physical injury. I said I tripped when I went down the back steps once, then it means you can use it in a few days time as well.
#39
Quote by Fixer
My entire family died in a plane crash and I am a vegetable.


hah family guy ftw
American Fender Strat

Taylor 314CE


Quote by pbiggie
this guy speaks truth
#40
Quote by EmeraldXecution
bad raviolli

got the mud butt

not comin in today


my buddy used it and it worked, with only a slight hassel


The hassle of course being that no one in their right mind would eat ravioli.
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