#1
just something i jotted down just know,be a shame to waste the evening watching rubbish on the telly.

I saw you standing there,outside the door
With eyes all ablaze
Mine drop to the floor
What have you heard
Or did you see
Your red faced rage
Threatens me

The palms of my hands,feel clammy and hot
your pupils contracted
pulled to a dot
Has someone told you
Which will it be
Your wild dark stare
Frightens me

(middle bit)

Do i explain or lie or beg
Whats been seen,heard or said
I thought I'd been carefull
that I'd played it cool
But the way its looking
I've been a fool

I watch you stepping,through the door
Your eyes still ablaze
Mine back to the floor
Was it a phonecall
A photo for free
Your lack of voice
Confuses me

Walking real slowly,you cross the room
Your chest sobbing heavily
The explosion is soon
You scream your remorse
And what will be
My guilt and pain
gutting me

(end bit)

Do i come clean promise and beg
or toys from my pram with what you've said
I was so carefull
played it so cool
And now twice over
I am the fool....


my third attempt at songwriting,i know its still a bit regimented but any critisims welcome and not taken to heart.

thanks for looking
#2
i love your writing style i can imagine lamb of god in the background with your lyrics ruling the world :P good job
#3
Quote by Craigy_boii2008
i love your writing style i can imagine lamb of god in the background with your lyrics ruling the world :P good job


I hav'nt a clue about Lamb of god but the the way you say it,makes me feel it should be.
If you like the words then write the song.
would love to hear it.

cheers