#1
Rudy and Milt could have practically been my real brothers.
I couldn't go with them to the arctic ice cream parlour
on 5th by the corporate beige supermarket chain
because that wasn't planned and every detail
of my life wouldn't be known just in case.
Regardless of the fact that one's in anger management
and the other is charged of statutory rape now,
we could have had something special.
Why couldn't you let me be whatever kid's cliché?
Did you not understand it or is this actually how you are?
I missed something all the other kids share.
The children's books you read make you
the parent that you will become because
Mrs. Leading and father missed the moral of every story
and you resent them for that.
The kids books define a generation just as
much as its literature and hockey dads
who kill each other over their own kids,
or as the teen suicide rate, or faceless
homicides and nameless kidnaps, murders
and mutilations of four-year-olds
on what they tell us is "news."
To miss those morals and the promising youth...
Doesn't everything come from those stories? Everyone?

#2
I didn't like the ending. the everyone didn't do much for me and the ending was disappointing to be honest.

could have practically been sounded like a little too much. Could have been works better if you ask me but it's not a big deal.

be whatever kid's cliché
didn't like that phrasing

by the corporate beige supermarket chain
didn't like that phrasing either


I thought the rest was pretty good. Not your best but it's a nice idea. It was just ok for me on the whole. It connected with me but didn't really affect me much, you know?

that might just be me though.

Anatomy Anatomy
Whale Blue Review

Park that car
Drop that phone
Sleep on the floor
Dream about me