So, my lead singer is kind of attractive and I know she thinks I'm cute. I don't really like her at all, but I'd totally hook up with her if I got the chance.

What I'm scared of, though, is **** getting complex and one of us leaving the band.

She's got an amazing voice. She's a soprano in the highest choir in our school, and loves lots of kick ass music too. Decent singers are hard to find in highschool...

So anyone have any experience with hooking up with band members? The last time I had a friends with benefits thing we both ended up liking each other and we had to stop because we couldn't date (distance) and we drifted apart, so I'm apprehensive about this.
if she goes up to you, hook up with her, don't go up to her

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if she goes for you, then its all systems go.

if not. leave it. there are plenty of fine girls that will not **** OVER the future of your band. unless she likes you. and she sees you hook up with one of those fine girls and gets jealous. in which case she'll probably leave anyway. (just a thought u mite want to consider).

but yeah, dont.
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DONT, it will be super awkward for the rest of the band, and just overall bad
It'll effect your decision making when making group decisions, it will end badly.
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as much as im for hookin up wit hot chicks, this is a bad idea, a band is sort of a relationship in itself and this could **** this up...theres plenty of hot chicks
'I love her, but I love to fish...I'm gonna miss her"
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DONT, it will be super awkward for the rest of the band, and just overall bad
It'll effect your decision making when making group decisions, it will end badly.

ditto to this guy. It will make everyone else in the band feel like they dont belong or vice versa.
You're in school.

The potential negative consequences of this might seem very important to you now, but I very much doubt they are.
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I had a guitarist hook up with our singer a while back. It was fine for a while, till they started making out at practice. Long story short, neither of them are in the band anymore.
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A band is all for one and one for all. So you either hook up with everyone or you hook up with none of them.

Well so far the entirety of our band consists of me on bass guitar, her on vox, and our lesbian friend on drums. So...

Would it be prudent to talk to my drummer first? This would not go beyond friends with benefits.
Normally, this can turn out really, really badly. Just look to certain popular bands for examples. But....

I ended up married to the drummer of one of the bands I was in. So there are happy endings at times.
Danger Will Robinson!

Absolutely not. It will eventually be the downfall of the band, don't do it.
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i say dont do it but it really depends on how serious you are with the band, if this is a band that you think will go somewhere then no. but if not go for it
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I ended up married to the drummer of one of the bands I was in. So there are happy endings at times.

What happened to the band though?

I say no to hooking up with band members; hook up with their friends.
And no, Guitar Hero will not help. Even on expert. Really.
No man, don't do it. My cousin had a similar deal, hooked up with the singer, went out for a couple of months (not missing band stuff though) and they were done. Luckily for him it only took them a few weeks to patch things up and continue pumping out some sweet music.

Things can go to **** or they can be just fine... roll the dice bud.
Probably not a good idea if you're serious about the band.
Don't do it.

If you're serious about the band, or care for the band members, do not do it.
1) Any other male band members may be jealous, and it might cause conflict purely on the basis that they're unhappy.

2) Are you going to work together well when you've just had an argument (and it will happen)? Or if there's a really vicious breakup - you cheat on her, and she sleeps with the rest of the band to get back at you - are you going to work well?

It basically means that your relationship problems will overspill into your working relationship, and that's not a good thing. I'd recommend not to - it's harder to find four good friends than one girlfriend.

Of course, as Damascus says, the chances of either this hypothetical relationship lasting, or the band becoming big and successful, are low. So it doesn't really matter which you do, the end result is the same anyway.

And friends with benefits is clearly still acceptable. Right?
I appreciate all the input guys, but I think a lot of you are posting on the assumption that we'd go out. I don't like her and I've no intention of dating her, but I'd totally hook up with her.

So let me rephrase the question. Does friends with benefits complicate band matters?
ok, this may sound mean, but youre in high school so either a) your band wont be around for very long in the long run, or, b) your band sucks. **** that seems like a big deal in high school really means nothing after high school and out in the real world. so looking at it this way you should definitely bang this chick. and who knows? i might ended up that everyones cool (but probly not) but if not who cares its just some high school band.
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