what do guys think, im new to the site.
its kinds simple i think the solo is classic

tell me if its cool or lame

i sent it to my cousins and hes laying out the drums
self made.zip
Last edited by MaidenPriest666 at Dec 21, 2008,
Rhythms are a bit silly at parts, but other than that I like it. It sorta seems like you're going out of your way to be as "prog" as possible.
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Rhythms are a bit silly at parts, but other than that I like it. It sorta seems like you're going out of your way to be as "prog" as possible.

oh do you mean at the end? the weird out of whack sweep? ha thanks for the feedback, but can you tell me exactly where? i dont want it to be too ridiculous
I like it for the most part. I think the beginning (the parts where it's all chords, pretty much the everything up until the end solo) are a bit too long, and kinda repetitive. But, then again, I like my music to be spazzy and not-very-well-thought-out, and it is a ballad, so at most I'd try and change up the chords a bit more. The only other thing I can think of is to end the last solo with a big chord, or let that last note ring out/fade out for a bit.

Good work!, and thanks for the crit on my stuff.
Criting as I listen...

I REALLY Liked the intro bars. The 5/4 section was great, and it set up perfectly for the chordy part. Immediatley however, I had to turn off the delay. It was bad. Really bad.

Chords were good, I could see vocals over that... The synth behind it was good. The 5/4 chorus wasn't bad, but seriously, you could cut out the guitar. Just have that be synth.

Break was good, Probably my favorite part so far.

23/16 Chords were very nice. I liked them better than the original chordy section.

Again, the chorus, cut the guitar. Break was again, fabulous.

The first solo was really good, but it seemed a bit out of place. Don't get me wrong, I love offtime music, Meshuggah and Dillinger Escape Plan are two of my favorite bands, but in this song, it seems like you are trying a bit too hard to be offtime, instead of letting it be natural. That comment goes for the entire song, actually. Same thing with solo 2. And yet again, with the epic out solo.

It ended very apbruptly, and I didn't like that.

Overall, not a bad song, had some really good parts, some...not so good parts, but needs some work.

Also, WHERE'S THE BASS? It needs bass, badly.

Overall, I'd give it..... 6/10

Crit mine?

My Old Progressive Metal Band:
For fans of Between The Buried and Me, Dream Theater, Cynic.

My New Progressive Rock/Djent Band:
Wings Denied
For fans of Deftones, Tesseract, Periphery, Karnivool, Cynic.
Cool classic intro sound! bad strumming rhythm in the verse and chorus though. Break really cool all those parts are cool. very nice solo, liked the weird construction of it. the second part had bad strumming too and not so good percussion. end sweeps were ok.
Good song overall, the strumming patterns I think are a bit too weird, especially in the verses, its like "look at me! Obscure time sigs!"
I also recommend you slow it down a bit, ballads usually benefit from being slow