#1
I dunno, written ots :;

Flicker of the Christmas lights
Hanging upon the mantle piece
They don't look like they're icicles

Movies about epic love affairs
That just depress us both
Because we used to be like that

We were even better than that

But now we curse cheap Tesco lights
For shinning nothing into this room
'Take that look off your face' every night
I feel like I sleep next to Scrooge
Last edited by Dylan_ at Dec 21, 2008,
#2
"like there icicles"
Do you mean "they're"?

"Movies about epic love affairs"
The word "epic" has become basterdized by the internet, and so has long ago lost all it's meaning. Get rid of it, for all the 21st century connotations.

"For shinning nothing"
I hope you mean "shining".

Change "next to a Scrooge" to "next to Scrooge", make that final line even the more stronger.


This was great.