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#1
Surprisingly, the searchbar didn't give me anything, so if there is already a thread, I'll close this or whatever.

Let's here some of your best jokes about guitar/bass/drums/vocals/or anything else. Here are a few (they're all about lightbulbs )

How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?
Twelve. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it better.

How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
None--they just steal somebody else's light.

How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
Don't bother. Just leave it out--no one will notice.

In the 22th century, how many guitar players will you need to replace a light source?
Five. One to actually do it, and four to reminisce about how much better the old tubes were.
grok it.

SKREAM!

Listen to jazz, it's good for you...
#3
How many marching band geeks does it take to change a light bulb?


Two. One to change the bulb and the other to suck my dick.
#4
Quote by dubstar92

In the 22th century, how many guitar players will you need to replace a light source?


The twenty-tooth century?
#5
you must not be able to use the searchbar very well.. but anywho:

how many bassists does it take to change a lightbulb?
one because they're boring.
"You're a twat!"- That dude in morrisons

"You Ugly git!" - That girl in the restaurant

"You Were a Mistake!" - Mum

just a few of my fans..



#6
what was the last thing the drummer said before getting kicked out of the band?

"hey! let's play this song I wrote!"
#8
What's the last thing a drummer says before getting kicked out of the band?

"Hey guys, let's try playing my song!"

Edit: MARKOMITE, you've got to be freakin' kidding me!
E-married to ilikepirates

Quote by bloodtrocuted93

How are you so fucking awesome at music?


>¦<
¦
#9
Quote by metaldud536
Lightbulbs: Not just for providing light but also for providing lulz.

M374L


Quote by happytimeharry
This is why I'm proud to be an American. Keep your free health care. We get free boxes...



Quickstrike of the Predacons Beast Wars Club
PM NightmareXT To Join!


Bass Militia's Resident Viking PM jazz_rock_feel
#10
How many guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb?

4.

One to change it and three to discuss how Hendrix would've done it.
Quote by Crazymike100

You disgust me.


Quote by jack_off_joel
bro u are definately gay


Quote by Oblivion_Rps
A backstabbin' bitch who calls himself the 'oracle'?


Quote by 100%guitarmad
I AM GOING TO HAVE TO REFER TO THE FIRST QUOTE IN YOUR SIGNATURE



UG loves me so much. Do you?

MY NAME IS JACOB. CALL ME THAT.
#12
Some people were being led through the jungle by a native and they suddenly hear drums beating in the distance. The native says "Oh no, the drum beat always foreshadows something terrible. Terrified the people collectively ask what it is. The native replies "The bass solo."
Fear the Evil Chainsaw Wielding Penguin...
#13
For Christmas Johnny got a bass as a present with lessons.

1st day of lessons he goes off and when he comes back, his dad asks, "what did you learn in lessons today?" and he says "I learnt the first five notes on the E string!"

Next day when he comes back from lessons, his dad asks, "what did you learn in lessons today?" and he says "I learnt the first five notes on the A string!"

Next day he goes off and when he comes back, his dad asks "what did you learn in lessons today? and he says "Oh, I didn't go to lessons today, I had my first gig"


Another one:
How do you know the stage is level? If drool comes out both sides of the drummers mouth.
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#14
I farted and it came with a WARM prize.
Member of the Grammar Nazi Club. PM Your41Plague12 to Join.


Member #6 of the Orange Tiny Terror Club
#15
How many keyboard plaers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one, they can do it with their other hand.

How many altos does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they can't reach that high.


How do you know when your drummer is at the door?
The knocking keeps getting lounder and faster.

How do you know when your lead singer is at the door?
Can't find the key, doesn't know when to come in.
Quote by ElMaco
My last pay check was £0 working 0 hours. I can't believe how easy it was
#16
What instrument keeps your mouth fresh... a TUBA TOOTHPASTE! What say you to THAT?
"We were one among the fence"
Quote by diofan88
You have no idea how many mornings my dad has woken up to me in my underroos rocking out in the morning...on a mission...A MISSION TO ROOOOCCCCKKKKK!!!!!
#18
How many drummers does it tak eto change a light bulb?
1 except he broke 20 bulbs befor he relized you screw it in.
,___,
[O.o]
/)__)
-"--"-

,___,
[¬.¬]
/)__)
-"--"-



Quote by FishCream
Stop Performing Meathook Sodomy On Yourself
#19
Quote by Insanitydenied
What instrument keeps your mouth fresh... a TUBA TOOTHPASTE! What say you to THAT?


I lol'd, against my better judgement.
RAZZLEFRAZZLE
#20
Quote by SoWrongItsMatt
I lol'd, against my better judgement.

It's a fact of life...I'm hilarious.
"We were one among the fence"
Quote by diofan88
You have no idea how many mornings my dad has woken up to me in my underroos rocking out in the morning...on a mission...A MISSION TO ROOOOCCCCKKKKK!!!!!
#21
Here's another

Did you hear about the time the bass player locked his keys in the car?
It took two hours to get the drummer out.
grok it.

SKREAM!

Listen to jazz, it's good for you...
#22
Quote by lefthandman9876
whaddya call a drummer without a girfriend- homeless

sorry if i upset you fassa with my "all drummers are retards" joke

Fassa's a girl
#24
Quote by Powerhouse
How many marching band geeks does it take to change a light bulb?


Two. One to change the bulb and the other to suck my dick.


somebody give this man a cookie!!!
#25
What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond? Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!
What does a guitarist say when he gets to his gig? Would you like fries with that?
Why are Jack White's fingers like lightning? They rarely strike at the same spot twice

hahakillmehaha
#28
Quote by Powerhouse
How many marching band geeks does it take to change a light bulb?


Two. One to change the bulb and the other to suck my dick.


Epic.


Quote by lefthandman9876
whaddya call a drummer without a girfriend- homeless

sorry if i upset you fassa with my "all drummers are retards" joke


"Joke?"


Quote by Pertenozzo
I farted and it came with a WARM prize.


First Prize.


And a new one.

Why don't bass players play hide and seek?

Because nobody is going to look for them.
#29
"how does yngwie malmsteen screw in a light bulb?"

.........lets the world revolve around him!
.
#31
Quote by srvguitarrulez
You can't spell bass without ASS.

How are bass players like musicians?

They're not.

Those weren't very creative. I personally liked the hide and seek one.
#32
How many guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb?

One.
Quote by NGD1313
Well I don't know about solos but how about that Smoke on the Water riff. It's like...impossible.


THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE

I'm Jake. I'm a musician, philosopher, and exhibitionist.
#33
What happens if you play blues music backwards?
Your wife returns to you, your dog comes back to life, and you get out of prison.
#34
Quote by Hergiswi
Those weren't very creative. I personally liked the hide and seek one.



As you can tell, I'm obviously a bass player by the lack of creativity...No, I just fail at making jokes.
#35
Quote by Hergiswi
Those weren't very creative. I personally liked the hide and seek one.


I'm here all week, try the veal!
#38
Quote by HGS9669
What do you get when you drop a piano on a teenager?


A flat minor.

i LOL'ED so hard
epic win...
#39
How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
1...5...1... (1...4...5...5...1)

Quote by HGS9669
What do you get when you drop a piano on a teenager?


A flat minor.

What do you get when you drop a piano on an army?
A flat major
grok it.

SKREAM!

Listen to jazz, it's good for you...
#40
Quote by dubstar92
How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
1...5...1... (1...4...5...5...1)


What do you get when you drop a piano on an army?
A flat major


Mine's better.
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