So, I posted this some months ago, but I fixed a lot of stuff and added some parts, it's still not completely done, but I need more crits and ideas because I'm already almost finishing the recording.


Edit: bar 135 isn't part of the song, I was just messing around and forgot to take it out.
Last edited by Portuguese_boy at Dec 22, 2008,
I like it

It sounds a bit empty without bass though

Edit -- Bass coming in at Bar 19 would be good
I like this alot! The beginning, around bar 15 I think, it reminds me a bit of Mortal Kombat. The piano break sounds amazing! I think maybe it should be extended a bit, or maybe add another one in somewhere. Gotta put some love on the strings, too. Solos are awesome, wish I could play like that lawlz.

Wicked awesome job. Love the fact that it's got a ton of layers and the piano break.
WOAH! that's is insane, i didn't like it. it was to messy, by that i mean it was all over the place

Cynic and or tech death fan much?

the acoustic parts i liked very much and would sound great in a different song, as would the heavy parts but in a different
"We carry death out of the village!"
Thanks I guess, and yeah I really like tech death metal, but I don't think this song really falls into that category, except for the first solo.
sorry if i didnt help, but it was quite messy, maby fix up some transitions and it will flow more smooth
"We carry death out of the village!"
I'll crit as I listen to the song...

Clean Intro: I really liked the guitar. The drums took away from it a bit. Take those out, save them for Hard Intro. Also, take out the synth. It's a good little progression you've got going there, but it doesn't work with the song. I think it would sound good somewhere else as a bridge maybe?

Hard Intro: Very good. Had a distinct Symphony X/Dream Theater combination thingy. I liked the way that the drums changed every bar. Gave it real character. The synth backing sounded good.

Sweeping Solo: Sounded like... a sweeping solo? Not too sure why that's in 15/16, but whatever, it works.

Why is there a blank at bar 36? At least make it a drum fill...

I liked the next bar section... not bad at all. The guitar being replaced by synth was a nice touch.

Guitar Solo One: Actually, I liked it, which almost surprised me. A cohesive solo in 15/16 is a hard thing to pull off, but you managed it quite well. I wasn't a fan of the harmonizing though. And can you really play bar 51? I liked how it got really crazy after that, I had this image of Roadrunner and Wile E Coyote. And then he got anviled.

Acoustic Break: A nice change from the crazy guitar soloing. This really had a Cynic vibe to it, sounded good. I liked the counterpoint melodies especially.

I liked the return of the clean intro section. The synth wasn't necessary, as before.

After that, the crazy piano section. Was good. Totally crazy.

Guitar Solo Two: Very good. Added a bunch, with the slow drums behind it. I liked how every few bars, there was a drum fill. It kept my interest.

All in all, not a bad song at all. Fix a few unnecessary things, and you've got yourself a nice little song. I enjoyed it. 9.5/10.

Crit mine?

My Old Progressive Metal Band:
For fans of Between The Buried and Me, Dream Theater, Cynic.

My New Progressive Rock/Djent Band:
Wings Denied
For fans of Deftones, Tesseract, Periphery, Karnivool, Cynic.
Me like!
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