#1
So my 13 year old brother is severely autistic. He's pretty much totally inarticulate, and doesn't always have total control of his body. He's got really intense OCD and ADHD, so his entire day is basically centered around touching this, moving that, closing this. He hardly ever sits still.

In the past two years or so, he's also become violent at times. Not out of anger, from what I can tell, but I can see in his eyes, he'll sometimes switch to a completely different person. So I, being the biggest and strongest in the family, always have to be around just in case something happens. I've always tried my best to make sure not to hurt him while I'm protecting my family, but you never know what's going to happen.

Also, my parents are starting to get old and we don't know how much longer they can take care of him. So a few months ago, they tried to get him a spot in an adult home (he's considered an adult, because he's an adolescent) that was scheduled to be built, but because of the budget cuts (I live in New York), the building was cancelled.

Well this morning, in an already existing home, someone died. So he's probably going to go there in a couple of weeks.

I really don't know how I feel about this. Does anyone else have any experience with this sort of thing?
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#2
Will you miss him...?
I know you're so used to everything and being around him, how do you think your life will differ?

I have lots of experience with people leaving me, or myself leaving people. Like my mom killed herself infront of me when I was 5. She apologized beforehand, but... it still hurts. In a sense it's the same because you're losing a huge part, an important person in your life and it's literally life changing.
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#3
man that sucks, sorry to hear about that....

i cant say i have any type of experience with anything similar, but sounds tough to have to let your brother go

im sure the home he is going to will be a great place though, and if its the best place for him to be taken care of, then it is the best thing for him if he is going there
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#4
Hate to say it but it's most likely for the best
Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who...
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#5
I'm really sorry to hear this mate. When I was little my Nan was similar, she was very unwell for most of the time I knew her and needed a lot of looking after when she went anywhere, she died when I was 10. It's very hard to see someone like that.
#7
yeah man, you probably know this, but dont think about how you feel, think about how this will be best for him
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#8
My niece was severely autistic. Her parents were overwhelmed by the requirements of caring for her as she became older. She also had violent outbursts at times. They were rare but very scary when they occurred. Her name was Sarah. She passed away this past summer after battling bone cancer for over a year. She is missed.
I wish you luck man. It is a bad situation for all involved.
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#9
Well yeah of course it will be for the better, not just for him, but everyone in our house. I mean my mom has to take anti-anxiety medication because she's always so nervous about him, plus my dad's work has suffered. He has to take all kinds of time off.

And I'm going to college in less than two years, so it would mostly just be my mom taking care of him, and that wouldn't be too good.


I have a feeling it's going to just be way too quiet when he leaves. I mean there's constant noise in our house, even if it's screaming, at least it's something.
Quote by shattamakar
The only advantage of home-schooling is that it gives you good reason to commit suicide.


Hit this once or twice, and you'll be twice as nice.
#10
I know how you feel. My cousin is severely mentally disabled and my sister is bi-polar. It hurts that they have to live a different kind of life, but you have to be able to support them. Just remember that you love your brother and that he loves you.
#11
A friend of mine adopted a little girl when she was three, who had been abandoned and abused physically and sexually by her parents. She has anger issues, and multiple personalities. She's now 12. They had to sign her over to a place last year because she would torture kids in her class and make death threats against her mom and grandma. (adoptive)
They were afraid of her hurting her (adoptive)brother and killing her grandma who's on oxygen 24/7. When she gets violent she goes into like an adrenaline rage. She's broken her mom's ribs and wrist before.

They said it was a hard thing to do but it was probably for the best since she takes her anger out primarily on women since it was her mother who abandoned her(by locking her in a closet for 3 days when she was three.)
#12
That sucks man, that really sucks actually

I don't really have any experience putting someone that young in a home.. i don't know how I feel about that either
#13
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A friend of mine adopted a little girl when she was three, who had been abandoned and abused physically and sexually by her parents. She has anger issues, and multiple personalities. She's now 12. They had to sign her over to a place last year because she would torture kids in her class and make death threats against her mom and grandma. (adoptive)
They were afraid of her hurting her (adoptive)brother and killing her grandma who's on oxygen 24/7. When she gets violent she goes into like an adrenaline rage. She's broken her mom's ribs and wrist before.

They said it was a hard thing to do but it was probably for the best since she takes her anger out primarily on women since it was her mother who abandoned her(by locking her in a closet for 3 days when she was three.)


That's horrible :/

but to the TS, yeah I mean you have to also remember that although at times he gets violent and screaming, you guys have made his life better than it ever could be. So now it's time for you to part abodes, it doesn't mean he'll forget you and you'll forget him, you're still brothers and he's still family. Just keep in mind that, although its hard, this is the best treatment for him and he'll never be alone in the world.
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#14
Thanks guys. I just have to think about the fact that it'll be better for him.
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The only advantage of home-schooling is that it gives you good reason to commit suicide.


Hit this once or twice, and you'll be twice as nice.