#1
just post any horrible pick-up lines you know be them cheesy or sexual or whatever.

heres some i know:


can i read your shirt in brail?

do you work at subway? cause your givin me a footlong

did you know there are over 200 bones in your body? want one more?

im no fred flinstone but ill make your bed rock

do you work at UPS? cuz i can see you checkin out my package

lets play lion tamer, you get on al 4 and ill stick my head in your mouth

do you use windex on your pants cuz i can see myself in them

i have a magic watch, it says you have no pants on...no?...damn it must be 10 min ahead.


ok thats good for now, you guys post some.
Viking/Folk Metal Group <--Join!
Quote by telemonster
I dont get the whole EMO thing.....kinda like vountering to get your ass kicked.

Quote by Night_Lights
What idiot puts Randy Rhoads and Dimebag above Hendrix in any guitar list?
Quote by Guitarlord44
well they were both better than hendrix
#2
How 'bout you go search for the bar in my pants?

There's too many threads on this. Delete this and post in one of those.

Last edited by SaintsofNowhere at Dec 22, 2008,
#3
Hey, bitch, come over here and suck my dick


Bad pickup line about 90% of the time...


10% of the time, it is the best pickup line in the whole damn world
#4
I **** my pants, can I get in yours?
Quote by markr17
go eat a hermanpherdite.
#6
"Wanna play "Pearl Harbour"? I lay down and you blow the shit out of me."
I hope it's cold, everyday, where you are.
#7
nice shoes wanna ****

edit: **** got beat
Quote by HaKattack
Woman tone, eh?

Set treble to PUT THE TOILET SEAT DOWN WHEN YOU'RE DONE
Mids to YOU'RE DRIVING TOO FAST
Bass to WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "MAKE ME A SANDWICH"?
Gain to NOT TONIGHT, I HAVE A HEADACHE.

starter of the nadsat group
#8
Quote by SaintsofNowhere
How 'bout you go search for the bar in my pants?


won't search bar jokes/puns just ****ing die already?
Quote by Spoony_Bard
I hate that...actually I just hate anyone under the age of 16


Quote by RockGuitar92
Just get it cut a little. It will grow back. Besides why is it so important to look metal? That's just retarded.


Gear in profile
#10
There is a nuclear warhead in my testicles, if we do not have sex, the world will blow up.

Hey can you smell this chloroform for me?
#11
Quote by SaintsofNowhere
How 'bout you go search for the bar in my pants?

There's too many threads on this. Delete this and post in one of those.


"Blah blah blah i gotta be the UG Nazi Blah blah blah"


how bout...

Me: "hey do you know how much a polar bear has to weigh?"
Girl: "ugh no..."
Me: "enough to break the ice hi i'm chris"

Ohhhh.... and she's in my pants.
My signature has doubled...
__________________
My signature has doubled...
#12
roses are red
violets are blue
bend that ass over
and I'll stick it in your vagoo
Quote by Kensai





Quote by Lots O' FX
Why do you hate America?
#13
Man: Thanks for the gift.
Woman: I didn't give you anything...
Man: Well, someone gave me this boner.

Edit: Let's play pearl harbor, I lay back and you blow the hell out of me.
#14
Quote by pureebil333
Nice shoes lets ****.

The nice shoes actually worked for me.


Hand to God, it did
Quote by herby190
Every thread I've seen you in has been a complete success. Yay you!

Quote by theking182
i'm voting for GNiCk89. i just like how he speaks TO me, not AT me.

Quote by \m/Angus\m/
Yea, Sublime is a great band. You have an Underoath icon, so I think your opinion doesn't matter.
#16
You:The IRS is looking for my penis
Chic: How can i help?
You: They would never think about in your mouth!
When In Doubt.... Whip it out!


Quote by zwart_gitaar
how do i searchbar?


Quote by Davo Ownz
No, you are right, I don't have a 20 meter stone dick. You are just a pathetic troll.


Xbox Gamertag: CREEP1NGxDEATH
Hit me up
#17
My girlfriend told me that someone seriously tried "Hey, let's put the 'sex' back in 'sexually transmitted disease'" on her once.
#18
Quote by synpet713192
My girlfriend told me that someone seriously tried "Hey, let's put the 'sex' back in 'sexually transmitted disease'" on her once.

Epic, albeit fail...
#20
You must have evolved me into a metapod because all I can seem to do is harden.
I has sigs

Quote by COBGage
If Dimebag can't take a few bullets to the head how's he gonna be able to take a full on Kamehameha?
#21
Quote by skaterkevin87
You must have evolved me into a metapod because all I can seem to do is harden.


if i was female and a guy said that to me, i think i'd marry him
----------------------------------------

Quote by Jacob6293
why couldn't the boy with only seven toes eat his own feet?

he was lack toes intolerant!!!!!!!




Quote by lzcougarz3
Mom keeps me clinically obese so I won't run away.
#23
Quote by skaterkevin87
You must have evolved me into a metapod because all I can seem to do is harden.

.... But if you actually evolve your caterpie into a metapod, you still have tackle and string shot....
#24
Quote by Caleb Face
if i was female and a guy said that to me, i think i'd marry him


so what would you do if you were still a male and i'd say it to you now?? lmao
I has sigs

Quote by COBGage
If Dimebag can't take a few bullets to the head how's he gonna be able to take a full on Kamehameha?
#25
Quote by Caleb Face
if i was female and a guy said that to me, i think i'd marry him

But it's wrong, if it was evolved into metapod... it could still do it's old moves...

I just happen to remember that lmao..
Edit: Damn, someone beat me to it.
#26
Quote by skaterkevin87
so what would you do if you were still a male and i'd say it to you now?? lmao


i....i....i..i


----------------------------------------

Quote by Jacob6293
why couldn't the boy with only seven toes eat his own feet?

he was lack toes intolerant!!!!!!!




Quote by lzcougarz3
Mom keeps me clinically obese so I won't run away.
#27
Quote by synpet713192
.... But if you actually evolve your caterpie into a metapod, you still have tackle and string shot....


It's a pickup line, not meant to be accurate... and if you level up a metapod without the caterpie skills it will learn tackle... i know.
I has sigs

Quote by COBGage
If Dimebag can't take a few bullets to the head how's he gonna be able to take a full on Kamehameha?
#28
Step aside for my mega-list:

Let's let only latex stand between our love
I hope you know CPR, cos you take my breath away
You look like my next girlfriend
I lost my phone number, can i have yours?
Lie down - i think i love you
I'm an organ donor, need anything?
Pardon me, but are you a screamer or a moaner?
If I were you i'd do me
Is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
Nice pants! Can i test the zipper?
Hi, i'm mr.right. Someone said you were looking for me.
Oh sorry! I thought that was a braille name tag
I'd look good on you
Should i call you in the morning, or just nudge you?
your place or mine?
My feet are getting cold, cos you knocked my socks off
I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
If i said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
Do you believe in love at first sight? If not i'll walk by again
Hi. I make more money than you can spend
Can i get some fries to go with that shake?
That dress would look great on the floor next to my bed
Beauty is only a light switch away!
Hi, my name is chance. Do i have one?
Can i see your tan lines?
If you were a booger, i'd pick you first
Can i borrow your library card? Cos i wanna check you out!
Can you count? Then you better count on spending the night with me.
Nice dress, can i talk you out of it?
I think i could fall madly in bed with you
Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good
If i could rearrange the alphebet, i'd put 'U' and 'I' together
Are you a parking ticket? Cos you have fine written all over you
How do you like your eggs? Poached, fried or fertilised?
I need a ride with lots of '*****spower'...interested?
I'll impress you with the magnitude of my perpendicular rod
I wish i was the derivative of the tangent to your curves
Lets converge and rotate about the x-y plane
There are 206 bones in the human body. Want another?
There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn't have your number in it.
Are you accepting applications for your fan club?
I guess you can kiss heaven goodbye cos it has got to be a sin to look that good
Do u have a quarter? I told my mom id call her when I fell in love
Did it hurt? When you fell out of heaven.
Do you believe in helping the homeless? Take me home with you.
Hi, I just wanted to give you the satisfaction of turning me down; go ahead say no
I know why Soloman had 600 wives, because he never found you
Is it hot in here or is it you?
Screw me if I'm wrong, but you want to kiss me don't you?
Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.
Hi, I'm not trying to pressure you, I don't want to have sex without mutual consent; and by the way, you have my consent.
I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
I'm not looking for a relationship, I'm looking for an experience.
Do you sleep on your stomach? If not, can I?
Are you free tonight, or will it cost me?
I like maths. You want to go to my room, add the bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply?
I'm new in town, could I have directions to your apartment.
I've just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot
I'm a great swimmer can I demonstrate the breast stroke
Can i have a pic of you cos i wanha show santa what i want for xmas!
My magical watch says you aren't wearing any underwear! Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast.
im no fred flintstone but i'll make ur bedrock
I know Jedi mind tricks. Go home with me tonight, you will.
Do you know what’d look amazing on you? A load of my jizz.
That dress looks **** – I think you should take it off immediately.
As long as there’s my face, there’ll always be a place for you to sit.
Hi, I heard women go for bastards? Well, I never knew who my father was.
I’m like Domino’s Pizza. If I don’t come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
Does this cloth smell of chloroform to you?
You with those curves, and me with no brakes
Hey baby, I'm ready for some FUN, I already have the F and the N, now all I need is U!
Do you know what a man with a 12 inch dick has for breakfast? No! Well I have Bacon and Eggs!
What time do you get off and how?
What is a slut like you doing in a classy joint like this?
I am conducting a feel test on how many women have pierced nipples.
Hey baby, want to go check out the shocks in my new BMW?
Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home together?
Do you want to dance? Yes! Good, go on then, so I can talk to your pretty friend!
You’re like an exothermic reaction, you spread your hotness everywhere!
Baby, you make my floppy disk turn into a hard drive
You must be auxin, cause you are causing me to have rapid stem elongation.
Baby, let me find your nth term
If I were an integral, I’d fill you up.
It doesn’t take a genius to see how gorgeous you are, but if it did, I would be overqualified.
You know.. it’s not the length of the vector that counts… it’s how you apply the force
If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me: smooth or rough?
Let’s get together and test the spring potential of my mattress
Let’s discover our coefficient of friction
Is there a Rainbow somewhere? Because you're certainly the treasure I've been searching for.
Ever tried those weird prickly condoms?
Get your coat on baby; you've just pulled.
Do you want to play army? I will lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.
You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?
Would you like to stroke my lucky scrotum?
I'm the love pirate, and i'm here for your booty! YARRRGGGHHHH!!!!
If you were a Macdonalds burger, you'd be a mac-grogeous
Have you not been arrested? Cos those breasts are weapons of mass-turbation!
They say that behind every sucessful man is a woman, but if you want to switch positions just say.
they say your body is a temple, so let me worship inside you all night long
I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
I wish I was Columbus so I could explore your virgin island.
Is the room shrinking? Because you're getting hotter by the second!
Could I get your signifigant digits?
just looking at you turns my software into hardware.

...enjoy
Quote by dudius

afterward i thought about it and was like "wow, i just jerked off to a chubby girl sucking off a horse. i'm disgusting".

then i watched that segment again
#29
hahahahah ^

do you want to see something swell?

Excuse me, but you have a beep on your nose. What? (Reach up and gently squeeze her nose) BEEP!

You make my software turn to hardware!

ill be the burger king if you be my dairy queen

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have warts, so will you.
Viking/Folk Metal Group <--Join!
Quote by telemonster
I dont get the whole EMO thing.....kinda like vountering to get your ass kicked.

Quote by Night_Lights
What idiot puts Randy Rhoads and Dimebag above Hendrix in any guitar list?
Quote by Guitarlord44
well they were both better than hendrix
#31
My very own (only for asians who have small eyes and are out in the sun)

You're so hot, you're making my eyes small.

Not much of a pick up line, but for good laughs.
#33
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't, because it's perfect, just like you.
Gear:

-Guitars-
Esp/LTD JH-200
Ibanez RG2EX2
Yamaha FD01

-Amps-
Marshall MGDFX250 (It was a Gift)
Peavey Vypyr 15 watt

-Effects-
Digitech DF-7
#36
Quote by Erik_Aero
My dick died, can I bury it in your ass?

I lol'd.
Quote by HorizonShadow
Just eat the headstock.

That'll make you look mad.
#37
"It's time to f*ck you and chew bubble gum, but I'm all outta bubble gum...."
Quote by Hakanku
I once went in to a public restroom and George Michael approached me for sex. True Story.
#38
Side note: Every pick-up line is bad.

I have pantsphobia, help me, help me!

I'm a pirate searching for booty. Can I see your chest?
BRIAN. SCHNEIDER.
#39
Let's try an australian kiss... It's like a regular kiss, but down under!

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Would you like some fries with that shake?
Rip Kylee Harris 4.13.93-11.28.08
Quote by Capt_Clarkson
tell him that he is the drummer and that his opinions are invalid

Quote by Jim Harkins
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.