#1
I wrote this ages ago, I unearthed it again about 10 minutes ago and I think it's really good. What do you guys think?

(It takes place bang-smack in the middle of a concept album I'm toying with. I know it doesn't flow well saying it out loud, it only works with music)

You’ve dealt me a hand
That’s best bestowed upon fortune’s bane
Whose hands are torn to pieces
Trying to strangle his disdain
You hit me while I was down
And as I struggled to rise you said
The soul seeker’s journey starts
When the life of another ends
And a vision you showed me
Of a man and a room
And the key I was handed
To show him his doom

You’ve shown me a way
A road to follow but never pursue
I’ll dirty my hands to cut us free
And then I’m coming after you
There’s no doubt in my mind
That I’ll reside in hell
But for a cause so selfish I’ll suffer this
And I’ll drag you down as well
You’ll pay for the seeds you’re planting
And for the crop that grows
If it’s my last act as a man of flesh
I’ll make sure the world knows
What have we learned.....

Words are weightless here on earth,
because they're free


.....from this wee exercise?
#3
^Nope, but finding it again has given me new reason to. I'm thinking something not too heavy. I don't know why, but "Reach Down" by Temple of The Dog comes to mind everytime I read those lyrics. Something in that style
What have we learned.....

Words are weightless here on earth,
because they're free


.....from this wee exercise?