#1
There is this girl in town is practically in love with my uninterested brother. She is 15, he is going to be 18, given the weirdness of the family, its a no no. I suspect for a year or so now, given that she gave us heart shaped biscuits for Christmas last year. She goes to my brothers work to "see her mother", both her mother and my brother work in the same office. We all know the *real* reason why she goes there daily, but he denies it. She can be walking, sees one of my brothers cars and walks are secksi retarded like. Its comical.

Practically every Saturday she comes into the grocery store, and makes "known" she is there (she is loud). She even walked up our front gate, stopped, crossed her hands as if in prayer, looked to sigh, then walked away.
Again, awesome levels of funniness, and humiliation for mah brother, especially considering they are ever so slightly racist. Not really slightly, like a crazy southern baptist kind of racist, short of the KKK of course. Thats why I personally have little to do with them.

She goes into the office about two weeks ago, and gives him a present, and tells him she wants to be there when he opens it. He is all stressed, like "w-t-f could be in there? omg, what if it is weird? Or embarrassing? What should I get her? It needs to send a 'I'm not interested" message...... while not hurting her because I work with her mother".
So he stresses. He almost sneaks the package home so he can covertly open it, stopped by the suggestion of his supervisor that there is nothing embarrassing in it.
He is relived.

He opens it today.

Behold, a package of heart shaped biscuits... and..... seven bottles of Germ-X, of several different sizes and colors. Germ-X, w-t-f. Who gives their heartthrob Germ-X as a first or second (depending on whether or not one defines last years gift as a "omfg, I luv u" gift) seven bottles of Germ-X as a Christmas gift? What is creepy is that there are seven bottles of Germ-X, there are six people in her family, she is the youngest, has two older brothers and an older sister about my age. Six of them + brother = seven. Seven bottles of Germ-X. Knowing them, that is no mistake. lol

So he almost passes out, and decided to keep the CD that he bought for her, some teeny boppy CD I think. Should have done Seether, but oh well. I told him to keep it, and give her a SlipKnot CD. The weirdness of SlipKnots lyrics should be satan-ish enough to turn off any baptist. If that doesn't work, then Lamb of God. If that doesn't work then like Cradle of Filth or something,

Anyway. I find this amusing. The weirdness and awkwardness of having an underage, racist, odd girl, whose mother works along side your sibling, hitting on your sibling is awesomely epic in terms of awesome humor points. Thin ice, but it should be interesting to see how it turns out.
Right Leaning Centrist with Socialist Tendencies
Gun nut
#3
There is NOTHING to awesome for the relationship thread.

EDIT: And please change your sig ↑↑↑↑↑
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LET'S GO BUCKS
#9
I have no idea how that feels...Why doesn't he just tell her he's not interesed?

But, really, it's not that hilarious. Kind of on the cruel side.


I had a joke, but I didn't want to offend anybody
#10
That is absolutely incredible!

Look at the size of that signature!
Quote by Teh Forest King
A kid took a fetal pig during pig dissection, put a napkin on it as a cape, wrote "super pig" on it, then threw it out the window onto the greenhouse below, yelling "super pig, blast off!". He failed the pig lab
#14
Quote by blues_plus_booz
wow my 1st post


holy cow .......your sig is really fn annoying.
"Where the Beatles wanted to hold your hand, the Stones wanted to fuck your sister or daughter"

My profile
#15
****,

that's a big o'l sig ya go there sir


& The important question:


Is she hot?
a little lost.....
#16
Well, is she hot? And dude, you're gonna get that sig owned by the mods if you don't remove it.
#18
To go back on topic here:

Skip cradle of filth and go straight to Burn The Priest. if that doesnt defend against Mrs. Germx, then go with Cannibal Corpse. May i suggest Eaten Back to Life?
#19
Quote by blues_plus_booz
wow my 1st post


I don't really care about the original topic...

Your sig is so obnoxiously huge and annoying that I am fighting the urge to smash my computer screen right now just to get rid of the sight of it...
"We must become members of a new race, overcoming petty prejudice, owing our ultimate allegiance not to nations, but to our fellow men within the human community."
- H.I.M Haile Selassie I
#23
Quote by blues_plus_booz
wow my 1st post

1. Destroy your sig
2. *reported* you can't say 1st post
3. FFFFUUUUUUUUUUU-
Quote by Hakanku
I once went in to a public restroom and George Michael approached me for sex. True Story.
#27
lol owned.


i had that same suspicion, carmel. no one starts off in UG liking blues. it's usually metallica or some other testosterone-filled band.
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