#1
what do you guys think?

You pushed me torwards it and now Im like this

I feel like Im shooting but I always miss

you sent me some things to make me feel this way

but now you tell me that you didnt mean to say



but Ive already fallen for you

Im already falling for you



now I keep trying to feel better, better now

but I dont think its helping any more, tell me how

you tell me to let go, try hard to let go

but I just cant stop thinking about it, oh no



Because Ive already fallen for you

Im falling for you



Im so stupid to think that someone like you could like me

could like me...

so please help me out help me keep

calm, I cant afford to lose more sleep



Im not sure what you did to start me

feeling like this, can you see?

cause I dont even know if my heart's still here

I need to tell you, I need you to hear



I will still be your friend,

but still understand that I feel this way

I still feel this way.


I wrote it just today...
Quote by RetroGunslinger
this is like comparing a flushing toilet to a hole in the ground
#2
I had a song critisised (sorry bout the spelling xD) heavily on this and I realised they we're right... You're chorus needs to be longer... It should be something long and lyrical not just

but Ive already fallen for you

Im already falling for you

Good changing up of the chorus though. Some of the rhyming in the beginning of the song sounds strange to me though, like it's forced. It needs to sound a little bit smoother.

Great song. Love the meaning behind it. Keep working on it.
Rip Kylee Harris 4.13.93-11.28.08
Quote by Capt_Clarkson
tell him that he is the drummer and that his opinions are invalid

Quote by Jim Harkins
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.

#3
there´s some potential here. I agree, the chorus (or "hook") should be longer, or have a really extended one in the end-but in case the verse melody is very good, then it can stay this way.
#4
thanks guys. I will keep trying to figure something out for the chorus, its just that I didnt know what to write, and that is exactly how I feel, so I wrote that.
Quote by RetroGunslinger
this is like comparing a flushing toilet to a hole in the ground
#5
I don't really like the fifth stanza... it doesn't really.. fit. In my opinion. Cause the second line is too short compared to the other stanza's, and it just throws it off.
But the rest of it I like alot. (:

Idea on title: "Reach out you hands"? Cause you're falling and you want them to reach out their hands to catch you? xD I kinda like corny titles ;p haha.