#1
Post the most hilariously modified classic poems and rhymes you can think of.


Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more.'
So I opened the door and punched that f***ing mormon in the face.
#2
Haiku:

I once killed a man
He had a wife and two kids
I slept peacefully

Edit: also...points to sig

Q#m
e|--6--|
B|--5--|
G|--7--|
D|--7--|x2586
A|--5--|
E|-----|


Play until she breaks up with you.

The most brutal band to ever exist is...

You should go like them...even if you don't like them.


-Sloppyjoe24
Last edited by sloppyjoe24 at Dec 26, 2008,
#3
If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:
...Then you must be some kinda gaylord or sumthin' amirite.
#4
I see this going nowhere fast.
What you cannot escape, you must fight; what you cannot fight, you must endure.
#5
TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth; 5

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same, 10

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back. 15

Man that road f***ed me over good
Now I'm middle aged, alone and writing poetry
F***ing poetry, how could I get girly-er?
TAKE THE ROAD ON THE LEFT.
#7
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who had a dick so long he could suck it.

He said with a grin
as he wiped off his chin

"If my ear was a ****, I would **** it."
Quote by TunerAddict,mdawg24
+Infinity

Listen to ExtremeMetalFTW, he knows what he is talking about...

Quote by vmanoman
I clicked System Restore and it said "System Restore Is Unable To Protect You".

^^SO KVLT!!
#9
Roses are red, Violets are fine.
You be the six, I'll be the nine.
He's a freak of nature, but we love him so.

Quote by John Frusciante
Music isn't the Olympics. It's not about showing other people what you can do with a piece of wood in your hands that has strings on, it's about making sounds that are good.
#11
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I like spaghetti.
Let's have violent sex.
I've decided that my signature is terrible. I'm open to suggestions.


Click me, or I'll die.


# Un-nominated in UG Top 100,
#12
roses are red
violets are blue
I'll **** you with a rake
Quote by RU Experienced?
See the FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU- thread, he's a God amongst men.

^^ about me


Confucius once say: "Women is like jazz music, 3/4 jazz time, 1/4 ragtime."

This is my sig, get over it. ಠ_ಠ
#14
Roses are red
Violets are blue
the searchbar device
should be of use to you

Roses are red
violets are blue
Devin Townsend kicks more ass than you
#15
Quote by G0dzilla
Haikus are funny
But sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator


Oh how witty and funny, I never saw that one before
#16
Quote by ZeGuitarist
Oh how witty and funny, I never saw that one before


Hey someone had to do it
#18
Quote by Sir Anonymous
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm not a poet
So... um... yeah



wtf dude..

thats just f**ked up...
#20
Quote by richiemokkiez
Roses are red
violets are blue
captain obvious just flew by too.


That was actually rather good.
XIAOXI
#22
Quote by ZeGuitarist
Oh how witty and funny, I never saw that one before


stfu thats a classic
#25
Quote by xyz66
roses are red
violets are blue
I'll **** you with a rake


Thats a classic.

Roses are red
violets are blue,
I **** Disabled People
How bout you?
Ibanez RG4EXQM1
XBL Gamertag: XzXPatrickXzX
The System HAS Failed
Quote by tommyp484
"RUSSELL! WHAT THE F*CK!!!!"
#27
Quote by imdeth
Roses are blue
Violets are red
Aww shit...
I've fucked up again


Roses are red
violets are blue
the Luigi avatar
is getting old.

j/k
#28
Quote by Clownocaster#1
Roses are red
violets are blue
the Luigi avatar
is getting old.

j/k


Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'll destroy your face with my crotch.



The Luigi avatar is never leaving.
#29
Quote by Clownocaster#1
Roses are red
violets are blue
the Luigi avatar
is getting old.

j/k


Roses are red
Violets are blue
Don't mess with Weegee
You'll become one of them too!

#30
Violets are crimson
And your neck is mine
Next time we meet
I'll cum your own blood into you.
Purple string dampener scrunchy.
#33
Quote by CrucialGutchman
All poetry is fucked up. It's for the French and the homosexuals, and God hates both of them.


Well, this explains why Frank Zappa said:

There's no hell, only France.
Purple string dampener scrunchy.