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#1
Honestly guys, how many girls of recent have either turned you down or ended it with you because you weren't exactly like that stupid vampire.

I just ended it with my girlfriend because she wants a fairy tale life, which according to her, I can't deliver.
He's a freak of nature, but we love him so.

Quote by John Frusciante
Music isn't the Olympics. It's not about showing other people what you can do with a piece of wood in your hands that has strings on, it's about making sounds that are good.
#5
Quote by CowboyUp
She sounds like an overly dramatic dyke anyway. You're lucky you got out.

dykes make good friends.
BRIAN. SCHNEIDER.
#6
I thought that was just a rumor?

If it's true on some people, then that's probably not someone you want to spend your time/money on anyway.
Quote by Teh Forest King
A kid took a fetal pig during pig dissection, put a napkin on it as a cape, wrote "super pig" on it, then threw it out the window onto the greenhouse below, yelling "super pig, blast off!". He failed the pig lab
#8
Quote by monkeysintheday
dykes make good friends.


SIG MOMMENT!!!
Rip Kylee Harris 4.13.93-11.28.08
Quote by Capt_Clarkson
tell him that he is the drummer and that his opinions are invalid

Quote by Jim Harkins
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.

#9
Actually, I got some last weekend by wearing those sunglasses to a party that one of the guys in the movie has. There were chicks all over me calling me Edward Cullen. I haven't seen the movie, but I'll let them call me whatever they want if they're gonna sit on my lap like that.
Telecaster - SG - Jaguar
Princeton Reverb, Extra Reverb
P-Bass - Mustang Bass
Apogee Duet 2 - Ableton Suite
#10
i hate twlight more than any piece of literature or entertainment ever made, i hope something runs stephanie meyer over.
The Mitch Clem formula
1)make jokes about rancid and NOFX (as if they dont already make fun of themselves)
2)make obvious punk puns, possibly related to food
3)make fun of Rancid and NOFX again
4)??????
5)PROFIT (and an army of internet fanboys)
#11
No, I believe AIDS is the worst thing for relationships in recent memory.
The DNA results show that Jeremy Kyle is a nob.


Quote by titsmcgee852
I want to look at your sexual naked body.
#12
You see I don't have this problem and wouldn't know how it feels.
I've never had a girlfriend.


...
May the Force be with You.
Carmel is hawt
#13
I think she just used that as an excuse to leave your boring ass.
Quote by buddha
isnt there a law against not shaving? thats somewere in our constitution. i think it goes something like a girl maybe be a freak in the sheets but no be wild down stairs is treason and for that she will be beheaded.-good old Benjamin F.

#15
Quote by Oblivion_Rps
You see I don't have this problem and wouldn't know how it feels.
I've never had a girlfriend.


...


Hvad fanden?!
#16
Any girl who believes that Edward is a realistic character is either half retarded or full retarded and either way you don't want a girl like that.
#19
Dude tell me about it. My ex girlfriend said she wanted a love like in the movie "The Notebook". She was obsessed with Twilight too. That's when I knew that it wasn't gonna last very long. Wtf? This isn't the movies. Girls are effing crazy.
Duke Ellington - If it sounds good, it is good.
#21
Wait...did she actually say she was breaking up with you, because you couldn't live up to the book?
Quote by Tire Me.
Raping her in front of other people would be morally wrong.

Quote by Bubbles516
wtf290 uses make bubbles feel like crap
Its super effective!
#22
Why would someone want their life to be like Twilight?
You mean like getting stalked for two months, and then out of nowhere fall in love with someone you have no chemistry with?
--------
#23
Quote by Våd Hamster
Hvad fanden?!


Hvad?!
Bare fordi jeg har aldrig haft en kæreste.
May the Force be with You.
Carmel is hawt
#26
Quote by Cobain_Is_King
Wait, you got dumped by your bird because your not a Vampire?

What a bellend


But it was a fair situation I think. I mean he's not as perfect as Edward so obviously he deserved being dumped.
May the Force be with You.
Carmel is hawt
#27
Quote by Oblivion_Rps
But it was a fair situation I think. I mean he's not as perfect as Edward so obviously he deserved being dumped.

Makes sense I guess.

TS, you obviously weren't pale enough.
RULE BRITANNIA
#28
Quote by Cobain_Is_King
Makes sense I guess.

TS, you obviously weren't fake enough.


Fixated.
May the Force be with You.
Carmel is hawt
#29
Luckily for me, I am exactly like Edward in every way what so ever. Time to go sparkle!
#31
Well I think if this is the case then every girl I know is screwed because they are all addicted to twilight.
Quote by Survivalism
The Dual Rectifier is my sexy finishing move.


Quote by Survivalism
Nobody knows the words to Evenflow, they all just go "bramamamamamamamamaamamamabooowwllofcornflakes"
#32
I like Twilight...
Quote by VoodooChild15
I used to take my penis out and touch stuff with it when no one was looking.


Quote by teensean
THANK YOU!!! i love you Snyde_Platypus!!!


I explained "lulz" =D
#33
Quote by Spartan070sarge
Twilight and George Orwell are the worst things for relationships in recent memory

Fixed.

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
#36
Quote by restless_thrash
what is every popular movie?

yea, twilight is garbage. now, if the guy was a zombie, i'd wholeheartedly approve.


That'd be great.

Yeah they should be paying US to see that film.
May the Force be with You.
Carmel is hawt
#37
Quote by Toastbot
Luckily for me, I am exactly like Edward in every way what so ever. Time to go sparkle!


Erroneous! people say I'M like Edward lol
#38
aw duuuude.

same thing happened to me man.
bad times.
WONGA!
Quote by StringAssassin
I would be angry too if there were turds on my head.
#39
Quote by Cobain_Is_King
Makes sense I guess.

TS, you obviously weren't pale enough.

No, TS didn't sparkle in the sunlight, therefore TS phailed. :p
Quote by Jackal58
If I was Santa you'd all get shit for Christmas.
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