#1
Shut up, before the lights kill us.
And the stadium could all pretend to let the hospital
Be overrun by the hoards of your optical screams
Just as long as the helicopters don’t fly overhead
And leave us for the dead
Figuratively speaking of course…
And my name could begin with a Dr. or Mister
Or Dreamer or St. or “MIA:” or “VIP:”
Under the likes of you it’s so unlikely of me
And we open up scrap books to read through zenith
And we are reminded of a lot of things, a lot of veins
So tell me this my fairytale love,
Are you the bird or the gun?
And now with a purple inked pen,
Rewrite this, my jukebox love,
So it anagrams your undoubting importance
And my childish impotence
Figuratively speaking of course…
Pages turned fairly fast with an overused
Sensory detail, or was it progressive nostalgia?
Or was it a flailing hysteria, which you left on my front door
I can’t remember because it wasn’t written down
Seeing as how you don’t scrap book all the bad things
Seeing as how our scrap book is shorter then a child’s book
I really would like to just bid it adieu, so Goodnight Moon

Of all of this wreckage
And of all of the dead,
Those that still twitch and move
Will forever, bite for our heads
And we will stay indoors
Yeah, we will stay indoors
Search-light Skies
Would just alert the hoards

this one is for you.
#3
Erik, this was brilliant...if you took each line as a seperate poem. What this lacks is a unifying theme. There is no story, its just one great line after the next. It's like if you got ever picture in the louvre and stuck them all together as one big picture. Sure, by themselves, they are beautiful, but together, it's just wierd. You catch my drift?
#4
fkn great.
lolllll i was listening to born for this by paramore and i could sing along with this really well. well i sung it kinda fast, like a rap with a melody.
but really, i liked it a lot, but i disliked the 'figuratively' stuff, seemed too self-aware in a dreamy piece.
gorgeous control over language.
O! music: Click (Youtube)


^ Click to see an acoustic arrangement of Ke$ha's 'Your Love is my Drug' - everyone's favourite song.
#5
Quote by kdownes
Erik, this was brilliant...if you took each line as a seperate poem. What this lacks is a unifying theme. There is no story, its just one great line after the next. It's like if you got ever picture in the louvre and stuck them all together as one big picture. Sure, by themselves, they are beautiful, but together, it's just wierd. You catch my drift?


Argh, that kind-of hits me hard. With this piece I tried to go back a little to the style I first started posting with, which was Indepth, full of metaphors, creative, Mars Volta-y, etc. etc. But when I posted the Original Piece people pointed out the same thing, but even more-so. So when I wrote this I tried to actually form a theme or story, which I see. I guess it is just still to vague for people to catch up on.
Edit:
****, I actually see it now. BAH!
Had the story in my head and was so dead set on having it come through the lyrics that I was oblivious to the fact the words don't illustrate it properly.
this one is for you.
Last edited by Ebshabutiee at Dec 28, 2008,