#1
This is another of my lyrical creations, and I mainly wrote this song because the chorus just came to me when I was thinking of catchy lyrics on the topic of my last relationship. The verses and the bridge just mainly came to me as I though fit for the emotion I felt in the chorus. the verses are meant to be sang softer and with clean instrumental while the choruses pick up with loud distorted music that ascends from the second chorus to the bridge, but then slowly dies down to calmness at the last chorus variation (just want you to understand the song as I hear it in my head)
crit 4 crit ill return the favor as always
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Right now, I'm trying not to breakdown
The weight of my world, it's on my shoulders
I tried to do what's right, you sat alone that night
Dissapointing everyone when I make a move
Procrastinating everything I try to do
I tried to do what's righrt for me
Who are you to tell me I'm wrong

I tried, to throw myself over the line,
of what is safe and what is right
And I tried, to call you back last night,
what would I say, you said it all
And I tried, to find an easy way to say goodbye, so I lied
Sometimes the truth isn't good enough

But lately, I'm just trying to see in front of me
And maybe I'll pick up what I left behind
And maybe someday I'll see you agian, as a friend and maybe even more

because
I tried, to throw myself over the line,
of what is safe and what is right
And I tried, to call you back last night,
what would I say, you said it all
And I tried, to find an easy way to say goodbye, so I lied
Sometimes the truth isn't good enough

This indecent time, I'm going on my way
Don't even try following I don't know where I'm going
and maybe next time it'll be ok, who knows if only God could tell us
So this is goodbye, I'm going on my way
night after night I'll find my path on my own
and maybe next time It'll all be ok, or maybe I'm just kidding myself
Only time can tell

because I tried, to look the other way when you needed help
and I tried, to justify my mistakes with more lies
and I tried, to say goodbye, but I wrote this instead
So goodbye, I'm missing you already
#2
great song ,
one of the best I ever read
Last edited by Ic3 at Dec 29, 2008,
#3
ha read* but thank you for the compliment i didnt see a recent thread of yours so i assumed you didnt need crit
#5
Good lyrics. Not my style of what I'd want to listen to (Probably what I'd write though), but definitely high quality. I'm singing it in my head and it sounds pretty good.
it's all just coming back
it's all coming back

it's all coming back to me
#6
that was really good!!!! because you said how the song would change musically made it easier to read
#11
thanks for all your comments, and ^ your thread was closed sorry :/
more crit would be welcome especially crit telling me how i could change this to make it better