#1
This is the second part of a concept piece I'm writing about a group in an asylum that tries to escape. One of them is killed and finds a way to speak to the living while trapped in his grave. While he is hope to find eternal rest he tries to persuade others to follow in his tracks.


Asylum Street Pt.2... Mindslave

I whisper from the grave
Messaging to you
Influencing mind slaves
My lies stick like glue

I will hold out my hand
Beckoning your will
Blows like desert sand
Brings you to me still

I stroll
Down the streets
Of my home
Suddenly

The road
That I walked
Seeds I've sewn
The path I trod

Asylum Street
The death I've felt
Asylum Street
The hands been dealt

Moving past
Mortality
Going fast
Eternity

What my life has become
My tool is my tongue
No hope left for me
Now hear my story

Insanity struck me
And managed to grip
Crippled me severly
My future did trip

My world
Is dead now
It unfurls
On me now

What holds
Me are chains
And ice cold
I can't contain

Asylum Street
The death I've felt
Asylum Street
The hands been dealt

Holding cell
Is draining me
Judgement bell
Holds my key

To freedom to rest in peace
Until then I say to you
Welcome to my necropoly
Holding ground still standing true

For my mindslaves
Power I crave
Sets the tone
That turns men to bone

-guitar solo-
-harmony riff-
-guitar solo-
-riff interlude-

The mounting pressure
Is drawing them here
Makes me the center
Of what men now fear

The road that I've walked
Seeds I've sewn
The Path I
Trod

The road down Asylum Street
Draws us all together
Our rage grows like a tree
We spread our wings and

fly


Asylum Street

Asylum Street

The death I've felt

The hands been dealt


Tell me what you think of this and if you have anything you need me to look at just tell me what you like and I'll look at yours.
#3
Quote by metalmagic!
good word choice, but the concept is a little blury.


I agree with this. There are some interesting parts in there, but try and make it a little clearer, and it will be a good song



Sanity is not statistical