#1
i wrote this about an hour ago.

with my last regret in mind
i still take back nothing
or at least i try
my excuse burns away
like a cigarette for comfort
with nothing more to say
we share our goodbyes

to reach out
to stay out
it means all the same
im begging
for a tragedy
give me someone else to blame

i loved what i had
and what i had was love
but all good things come to pass, and while
a sickening feeling seems to linger
with my sincere smoke rings
fit around your finger
this subsided silence cant last


some parts are kind of sketchy. Any suggestions?
I have no gear worth mentioning


And my skills match my gear's worth


man....
#2
I liked everything besides the second stanza. I think you could maybe reword things or something...?
I dunno. I thought overall it was decent, but the middle needs to carry it along more. Nothing really seems to happen.
ok, yeah. my name is silly because I signed up when I was 13.

BEDBUGS