Not literally a cousin named Walter, mind you, but a relative of yours who's gotten into a crazy situation or two.

This is inspired by Kevin Smith movies like Clerks or Mallrats where a character tells the story of their cousin Walter and his crazy escapades, my favorite being from the movie Mallrats:

But my cousin Walter jerked off in public once. True story. He was on a plane to New Mexico when all of the sudden the hydraulics went. The plane started spinning around, going out of control, so he decides it's all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there. So all the other passengers take a cue from him and they start whipping it out and beating like mad. So all the passengers are beating off, plummeting to their certain doom, when all of the sudden, snap! The hydraulics kick back in. The plane rights itself and it land safely and everyone puts their pieces or, whatever, you know, away and deboard. No one mentions the phenomenon to anyone else.

and there's something I never understood about the "Walter in the plane" part in Mallrats...if they never spoke of it, how does Brody knows about the story?

Icing happen when de puck come down, BANG, you know,
before de oder guys, nobody dere, you know.
My arm go comme ça, den de game stop den start up.

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Last edited by DirtyMakik at Dec 30, 2008,

I've got to see that. I thought it was just going to be a crappy Clerks spin-off.
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Raping her in front of other people would be morally wrong.

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You disgust me.

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bro u are definately gay

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A backstabbin' bitch who calls himself the 'oracle'?

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UG loves me so much. Do you?

i have a cousin thats been in some crazy **** but not anything like getting a whole plane load of people in a giant circle jerk
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and there's something I never understood about the "Walter in the plane" part in Mallrats...if they never spoke of it, how does Brody knows about the story?

I'm guessing cousin Walter spoke up? Though, the story makes no mention of Walter saying so, so paradox?
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I have an Uncle Wally if that counts...

Demolition hands.... Got 'em!
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Hey, I have an Uncle Walt too.

Should we start a club?
Demolition hands.... Got 'em!
I'm the cousin Walter....but my cousin takes examples from me, which is terrible and I feel awful for it. He was all proud, telling me how he rode his skateboard on his back down a main road in his town and ended up all bruised and cut up and ****... I'm a horrible influence.
I'm the family member who ends up in jail overnight for lighting myself on fire and running through a McDonalds screaming conspiracy theories about Cthulhu and Nixon starting a black metal band together.
I am the Cousin Walter in my family.
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I don't know if this counts but my cousin bought a guitar and I asked him if he could play it, and he said he just wants it for furniture.