#1
A Call to a Soldier


Smoke rises from the battlefield,
Soldiers' black fates, iron sealed
The medals I wear,
Of bloody war
Sunrise, insipid light
Our bodies twisted, full of fright
The medals I wear,
Just bloody scars

A call to the soldier,
With his pride on his sleeve
A call to the soldier,
From his love he must leave

Remember me,
For I must leave now
Remember me,
In Heaven forever
Remember me,
Wish on the stars
Remember me,
I ride with the sun

Their bullets come with thunderous cry,
Their warships come, in earth, we’ll lie
Cold steel, I bear
With weary might
The bodies that their men expend
Through fire rain we must defend
Across the line,
No man can run

A call to the soldier
With his pride on his sleeve
A call to the soldier
From his love he must leave

Remember me
For I must leave now
Remember me
I'll be waiting forever
Remember me
Wish on the stars
Remember me
I ride with the sun

The sovereign call out for vengeance
To eager youthful ignorance
Their bullets crave
Lives of men
Smoke rises from this battlefield,
Guiltless faces with sin sealed
The medals they’ll wear,
Of senseless war

Remember me
For I am gone
Remember me
And the soldiers call
Remember me
The world's come undone
Remember me
I ride with the sun


I've never really posted lyrics on here before because I don't think they're too great, but I'd really like some comments, critiques, suggestions, whatever. Any input would be nice. Tell me what you think. thanks!
#3
definitely a little long. but i think that adds to the epic-ness if you will.

i'm definitely a fan of soldier type songs.

coheed fan 'eh? this kinda reminds me of "in keeping secrets"

well done.
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#4
Quote by D&DLover
A Call to a Soldier


Smoke rises from the battlefield,
Soldiers' black fates, iron sealed
The medals I wear,
Of bloody war
Sunrise, insipid light
Our bodies twisted, full of fright
The medals I wear,
Just bloody scars
this i mixed but i like it that way.

A call to the soldier,
With his pride on his sleeve
A call to the soldier,
From his love he must leave
this is okay. kinda clichw when talking about pride on his sleeve.

Remember me,
For I must leave now
Remember me,
In Heaven forever
Remember me,
Wish on the stars
Remember me,
I ride with the sun
wish on the stars after remember me seems to be weird cause of you saying other words beforehand in the previous two lines that fit with it as a sentence but remember me and wish on the stars is like that. the wish part and riding the sun is fine just makes it fluctuate.

Their bullets come with thunderous cry,
Their warships come, in earth, we’ll lie
Cold steel, I bear
With weary might
The bodies that their men expend
Through fire rain we must defend
Across the line,
No man can run
good

A call to the soldier
With his pride on his sleeve
A call to the soldier
From his love he must leave

Remember me
For I must leave now
Remember me
I'll be waiting forever
Remember me
Wish on the stars
Remember me
I ride with the sun

The sovereign call out for vengeance
To eager youthful ignorance
Their bullets crave
Lives of men
Smoke rises from this battlefield,
Guiltless faces with sin sealed
The medals they’ll wear,
Of senseless war
best stanza of this piece. and thats good cause its the outro.

Remember me
For I am gone
Remember me
And the soldiers call
Remember me
The world's come undone
Remember me
I ride with the sun

i like the ending. this time it was more clear when you said remember me.


I've never really posted lyrics on here before because I don't think they're too great, but I'd really like some comments, critiques, suggestions, whatever. Any input would be nice. Tell me what you think. thanks!


i think all of this was pretty good. exp. how you said "bullets crave lives of men" i think that was great.
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#5
Yeah, I'm a pretty big Coheed fan. Thanks for the comments. The genre is kind of metal/alternative by the way
#6
I dig it bro. i love the chorus. It has meaning so that adds a ton. Im not a huge fan of the sleeve part its a tad cliche. all in all great song with great concept. 7.5/10
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