#1
Hey guys, new song I'm working on. Written the music, melody and lyrics for everything except for whatever sort of bridge I decide to put in. Let me know what you think, and leave a link and I'll see yours.

***

Iron Bridge

Verse one:
A stranger shuffling through the mist
Pounding pavements that resist
Each tentative footstep.

Recalcitrant legs marching on
Past the natives who look on
Uncaring, terse, perplexed.

Pre-chorus one:
I prayed the mountain snow would melt
Making streams and rivers swell
Until this valley prison cell
Had turned into a lake.

And when the water rose I’d soar
Safely from the fifteenth floor
I’d swim for days or maybe more
‘Til I knew that I was safe.


Chorus:
Call it Stockholm Syndrome if you will
This town will grind me down but still
Despite the fact it keeps me captive
I don’t feel so trapped
And maybe we can cross this iron bridge and co-exist.


Verse 2:
Another face lost in the crowd
Indistinguishable now
Neither halting nor unsure.

Ankle deep in well-worn paths
Accustomed now and learnt by heart
Familiar, safe, secure.

Pre-chorus 2:
I found these crenellated walls
Once were menacing and tall
But now they grin down to the floor
And I can smile back

It’s tempting now to stay the course
Brave the beast and seize the horns
And if I’m bested by its jaws
At least I had a crack


Chorus:
Call it Stockholm Syndrome if you will
This town will grind me down but still
Despite the fact it keeps me captive
I don’t feel so trapped
And maybe we can cross this iron bridge and co-exist.

***

Thanks!
#3
Cheers man, appreciate it. Genre-wise, it's sort of a heavy punk / melodic hardcore type thing.
#4
Overall, I think this is excellent, but I did have one thing that just kept nagging me- your use of "co-exist" at the end of the chorus. It doesn't rhyme and seems out of place. But that's just me being picky. Nice!
#5
Quote by Hesh
Overall, I think this is excellent, but I did have one thing that just kept nagging me- your use of "co-exist" at the end of the chorus. It doesn't rhyme and seems out of place. But that's just me being picky. Nice!


Thanks for the nice words. As for the 'co-exist' part, I agree it doesn't sit well upon reading, but it fits with the melody... To be honest it's a line on its own in terms of the structure, but I just tagged it on the line before for grammar's sake!

It's one of those sorts of choruses where there's a little pause, then "and co-exist" is sung, and then the riff comes in. Hard to explain, but I promise it makes sense in the context of the song!