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#1
Just got this email and instantly thought of the pit. It's sad, I know...

1. Say you're from Arkansas.
2. Drool.
3. Show them your gun.
4. Keep talking about your mommy.
5. Lick peoples' faces.
6. Tell people about your Michael Jackson shrine.
7. End each sentence with "so when do we fuck?"
8. Tell complete strangers about your dreams "It was old my old high school, but it was lit up like a casino.. Do you know what I mean?"
9. Talk about your extensive pr0n video collection.
10. Admit to people that you watch Dawson's Creek. Also works for Felicity, Party of Five, 90210, etc.
11. Ask for spare change.
12. Show everyone your track marks.
13. Complain about those strange sores on your genitals that just won't go away.
14. Tell people that you voted for Ross Perot.
15. Two words: Pope hats.
16. Bring in Polaroids of your hemorrhoid.
17. Describe your yeast infection in detail.
18. Talk about your ex-lover's funeral.
19. Offer to bring her back to Burke to meet the guys.
20. Recite bad poetry.
21. Grab your genitals.
22. Grab theirs.
23. Yodel in bed.
24. Squirt liquids out of your eyes.
25. Ask them to pop the zits on your back.
26. Bark.
27. Wear overalls.
28. Burn rubber. Burn rubbers.
29. Carry a box of Depends.
30. Say "I enjoy making speeches during sex."
31. Keep saying "I think that would fit up my butt."
32. Sing the score to Jesus Christ Superstar.
33. Light your head on fire.
34. Talk Quebec politics.
35. Play the bagpipes.
36. Drop your pants and point to your genitals.
37. Lie about your identity.
38. Start your pick-up with "I've been following you."
39. Write love letters in blood.
40. Carry a teddy bear.
41. Show-off your body piercing.
42. Grab their face.
43. Speak really loudly and keep asking them if they're scared.
44. Offer them a toot on your gluebag.
45. Start masturbating.
46. Never stop screaming.
47. Say "I'm not making love to you. My other personality is."
48. Show them your meat hook.
49. Flash your CSU business card.
50. Tell them about your condom recycling ideas.
51. Shout out the name of your last lover...Raoul Cedras, Haitian dictator.
52. Duct tape a dead fish to your forehead. ( my favourite)
53. Hump their clothes in public.
54. Ask if you can bring some friends
55. Ask if you can bring your father.
56. Pick, pick, pick your nose.
57. Wear a Hitler moustache, especially if you're a woman.
58. Ask them to marry you right away.
59. Blame them for everything.
60. When they take off their clothes, burst out laughing.
61. Shit in bed.
62. Show off your stigmata.
63. Spend all day chatting online and not actually seeing a single person.
64. Offer to mutilate yourself to prove your love.
65. As soon as you meet say "Commitment or death, it's your choice."
66. Ask them to join your suicide pact. "Have you ever had sex while plummeting to the ground in a flaming vehicle?"
67. Tell them your crossbow is your best friend.
68. Make gurgling noises at the table.
69. Refuse to wear a condom. "I've never worn a condom and I've had over 100 lovers."
70. Wear an End of the World sandwich board.
71. Scream in pain while urinating.
72. Ask "How come sex always ends in death?"
73. Use napalm as lubricant.
74. Tell them you can suck your own member.
75. Gag while kissing.
76. Suck their nose.
77. Shit your pants and sing a song.
78. Eat things you find on the street.
79. Bring them to an International Socialist meeting.
80. Tell them O.J. is your hero.
81. Tell them, "If we're going to have sex I'm going to have to get batteries."
82. Whip a gerbil out of your butt. Roll it up and smoke it.
83. Get into your Smurf outfit.
84. In the middle of sex say "Hey! This is way better than sheep."
85. In the middle of sex "Hey! This is way better than pumpkins."
86. Pull your tampon out. Swing it around your head and yell "Your goin' down Goliath!"
87. Tell them you cry everytime you see "Edward Penishands."
88. Demand cash up front.
89. Say "I'm doing this because I feel sorry for you."
90. Keep yelling "Next!"
91. Never get their name right.
92. Instead of foreplay try selling them a vacuum cleaner.
93. Show them your tail.
94. The minute you get to their place, hump their dog. Smile crazily.
95. Wear a helmet all the time.
96. Start doing "The Safety Dance."
97. Begin with "The instruction manual said..."
98. Put your underwear on your head.
99. Be yourself.
100. Make lists about how not to get laid.
#6
Meh

A few were sort of like ha, that might be mildly amusing, but no lol ones.

Besides, the Pit is a collective Nobel Prize winning expert on how not to get laid.
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
O O O O O O O O O O
RED MILITIA FACTION
#7
Quote by Cannibal_freak1
101. start this thread


Someone had to put it But it doesn't matter I'm not getting any
#10
102. Don't cum in their vagina.
Quote by NGD1313
Well I don't know about solos but how about that Smoke on the Water riff. It's like...impossible.


THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE

I'm Jake. I'm a musician, philosopher, and exhibitionist.
#12
102. Upon meeting her parents for the first time, tell her mom she's hot and ask if she'd mind a shag.
#13
Ah, so now I know what I've been doing wrong...


Quote by deaththrashcore
I've found that yodeling is quite a turn-on for some people.

And if you were yodeling in bed, wouldn't you already be getting laid?
Quote by duncang
maybe it's because i secrely agree that tracedin inymballsackistheb best album ever


he's got the fire and the fury,
at his command
well you don't have to worry,
if you hold onto jesus' hand
#14
103. Get REALLY wasted and puke in there face
Have Heart


xXx STRAIGHT EDGE xXx


//Are you as think as i drunk you are?//


Quote by DrPants PhD

-Some pregnant teacher threw up on my sister, lawl.
OWNED
#15
I also liked the duct tape a dead fish to your forehead.. I can imagine some dudes from my school doing that. But one of those dude has already been laid. a lot.
"You're a twat!"- That dude in morrisons

"You Ugly git!" - That girl in the restaurant

"You Were a Mistake!" - Mum

just a few of my fans..



#16
81. Tell them, "If we're going to have sex I'm going to have to get batteries."
82. Whip a gerbil out of your butt. Roll it up and smoke it.
83. Get into your Smurf outfit.
92. Instead of foreplay try selling them a vacuum cleaner.
93. Show them your tail.
94. The minute you get to their place, hump their dog. Smile crazily.

haha
Quote by skater dan0
Damn you and your ninja-like modding
#17
This is just kind of a random list of things that are annoying.
Quote by Tire Me.
Raping her in front of other people would be morally wrong.

Quote by Bubbles516
wtf290 uses make bubbles feel like crap
Its super effective!
#20
haha

This is pure gold
Quote by alaskan_ninja
Everyone is trying a comeback now. Metallica, Smashing Pumpkins, Rage, and now bin Laden? Come on. Give it a rest..


haha
#21
86. Pull your tampon out. Swing it around your head and yell "Your goin' down Goliath!"


best!
You like it
#26
These are funny, but completely unrelated to anything. I anyone did any of these then I would jump to the conclusion that they have Downs Syndrome.


80th best UGer
#27
Quote by Sacrebleu!

15. Two words: Pope hats.

haha
Quote by innertom
So much down syndrome

remember UG Community? thought so.
#28
Quote by heavymetal31
103. Get REALLY wasted and puke in there face



actually this doesnt stop you getting laid (speaking from experience)
#29
112. I have aids is a terrible opening line


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#30
#99
ADELOS
POP PUNK
for fans of...

Motion City Soundtrack, Get Up Kids, Jimmy Eat World, Transit, Brand New, Dashboard Confessional, Early November, Fall Out Boy, Jawbreaker, Polar Bear Club, The Story So Far, the Wonder Years, Something Corporate.
#31
Quote by Sacrebleu!

12. Show everyone your track marks.


what's track marks?
Twitter: ScottWotton
Tumblr: ScottWotton
YouTube: ScottWotton

3DS FC: 5043-1553-4655
Friend Safari: Rock type with Boldore, Pupitar and Barbaracle.

Wants his username as ScottWotton. >.>
#32
Join this forum.
Heads will roll. Throats will be slit. Blood will flow like springs of water.
#34
In my opinion 32. Sing the score to Jesus Christ Superstar. would most likely get you laid if it was the original Ian Gillan version. Any man singing that deserves to be laid.
Quote by Kendawg4TooL
You know you're a bassist when you think a guitar is just some freaky type of short scale, six string bass.



This is The Central Scrutinizer......
#35
Quote by Vampire 255
what's track marks?

This is why people hate you metalcore fanboys.
Quote by Brunnis Jetrel, Eve-Search Forums
oh the good old days of launching strawberries at point blank range into people's faces with a ballista... brings back mammaries

Quote by SkyValley
Kick your OWN ass before he has a chance to get to it.

Clicky --->
#38
Quote by Sacrebleu!

57. Wear a Hitler moustache, especially if you're a woman.


I know what I want for my birthday.
--------
#39
11, 38, 65.

good ****.
'79 Fender Deluxe Reverb
Gibson Les Paul Classic
Fender Stratocaster
Ibanez TS9, Keeley TS9 Baked Mod
Zendrive

LOOOOOK INTOOOOOO THEEEE PICCCTUREEEEEEEEE


Member of UG's Gain Whores - pm gpderek09 to join
#40
Famn, i actually laughed hard at some of those.
My gear:
  • Fender American Standard Telecaster
  • Ibanez RG450
  • Laney VC15
  • Electro Harmonix HOG
  • Vox Satchurator
  • Blackout Effectors Musket fuzz
  • Electro Harmonix Pulsar
  • Earthquaker Devices Disaster Transport
  • Malekko Chicklett

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