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#1
I'm a big fan of short (like .. 2 sentence) jokes. Pit know any good ?

example:

"a dyslectic guy walks into a bra"

"I may have alzheimer .. but at least I don't have alzheimer !"


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#2
Oh, like women's rights.
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#3
Like.. 'joke' ?

Instead of 'jooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooke'.

Yea, so much better than long jokes.
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#4
Quote by noxiosimitator
I'm a big fan of short (like .. 2 sentence) jokes. Pit know any good ?

example:

"a dyslectic guy walks into a bra"

"I may have alzheimer .. but at least I don't have alzheimer !"


Dyslexic? Alzheimer's?
#6
Quote by Kensai
Oh, like women's rights.



thats the first time i've actually lol'd in ages.
"You're a twat!"- That dude in morrisons

"You Ugly git!" - That girl in the restaurant

"You Were a Mistake!" - Mum

just a few of my fans..



#8
Quote by lefthandman9876
three musicians and a bassist walk into a bar


what do bassists use as contraceptives?

their personalities
dont take any guff from these bastards man

Quote by Fenderhippie69
I only smoke when I've been drinking and I only drink when I've been smoking.
#10
Quote by lefthandman9876
three musicians and a drummer walk into a bar

fix'd
Rockin' shit
#12
Quote by jimmyhotpants
fix'd

beat me to it
My Gear

Squier VM p-bass(i chosed it over a fender!!!) with quarter pounder and gotoh 201!!
fender MIM P bass
epiphone SG 400
#13
Quote by jimmyhotpants
fix'd


yeah a drummer is the original joke
Quote by Carmel
You are a redeeming feature for the UG Swedish population.


All-riiight.
#14
Do dead baby jokes count, because nothing beats 'em I tell ya?

Whats Blue and makes women scream in the mornings?

Cot death


How do you make a dog drink?
Put it in a liquidizer.
#15
Person 1: What are you doing on Saturday?
Person 2: Your mom

lol actually used that once, they thought it was a pretty good burn lol
#16
Quote by kxy1992
Person 1: What are you doing on Saturday?
Person 2: Your mom

lol actually used that once, they thought it was a pretty good burn lol

'Your mom' jokes are by far the least funny thing of all time.
"We are not concerned with motive, with higher ethics. We are concerned only with cutting down crime-."
#18
a short guy walks into a low bar. ouch.

:|
"You're a twat!"- That dude in morrisons

"You Ugly git!" - That girl in the restaurant

"You Were a Mistake!" - Mum

just a few of my fans..



#19
A man walks into a drumkit
*ba-dum-schhhhss*


Quote by guitarhero_764
I think you need to stop caring what people think about it. I stayed home all day today and masturbated like 5 times. Fucking blast.

Ibanez ATK300 ◈ Sansamp VT Bass ◈ EHX Nano Small Stone ◈ Hartke LH500 ◈ Ashdown/Celestion 115
#20
Oh, I thought it was jokes about BEING short. I was going to say, Your **** is about as long and my index finger. AHBURN.
call me Shelby

#22
Quote by hendrixfreak93
3 Irish guys walk out of a bar


This sir is clearly a lie!

The Jonas Brothers! Get It!
#23
Quote by ScottB.
A man walks into a drumkit
*ba-dum-schhhhss*






I haven't laughed that hard at an internet joke in a looong time
Quote by Carmel
You are a redeeming feature for the UG Swedish population.


All-riiight.
#24
A man walked into a bar and said ouch.


AMIDOINIRITE>???
^
This really has nothing to do with the thing above my name it is really just a coincidence.
#26
Quote by ScottB.
A man walks into a drumkit
*ba-dum-schhhhss*


Hahah, much better than most of the "walks into" bull****.

Spiderman: Just another guy who ends up with sticky hands after using the web.
#27
Quote by spacejamismyjam
what has 100 teeth and holds back the beast?


My fly

You count the teeth on your fly... freak.
I'm Luke.
#29
"Dude, you're growing a nice mustache!"
"Like your mom"

lol, that's probably the only "your mom" joke that was good.
#32
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
R/DedIT
The Glitch Mob

Arkasia

Tool

Quote by madbasslover
I'd pay four bucks to have those 6 balls stuffed in my mouth.
#33
Quote by SnowTau
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.



80th best UGer
#35
Knock knock.

Come in.
Irony FTW.

Quote by The Dance Hat
Technology is completely unnecessary and complicates life.



The Gear

Ibanez XPT 700
Laney Hardcore MXD 30
#37
What's better than ten dead babies nailed to a tree?

One dead baby nailed to ten trees.
#38
^Oh dear god..

Heres one excessively stupid one from a friend

Whats usually white, and if falls out of a tree will kill you?

A fridge.
R/DedIT
The Glitch Mob

Arkasia

Tool

Quote by madbasslover
I'd pay four bucks to have those 6 balls stuffed in my mouth.
#39
Person 1: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Person 2: To get to the other side
Person 1: Who said the chicken got to the other side? He was hit halfway!
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