#1
Ok, so this is a kind of long song I've been working on lately. It's some kind of Progressive-stylish rock if you want to call it something. Some parts are really unpolished and newly written (like the Bridge and "New Part", as I like to call it), where there probably is going to be more layers of instruments playing (like Bass is obviously needed in most parts, but isn't necessary right now). And also, the last part (Climax) is very new, so it will probably not look like that in the future (especially the drums, wich I sort of fooled around with a bit).

Hope you get the sence of what I've been trying to capture, thanks in advance. C4C if anyone wants!

Updated tab:
Attachments:
The Nuclear Winter.zip
Last edited by Behzad93 at Jan 7, 2009,
#2
really like the song, hope you get the chance to record when it's finished!

well don't have much to crit

i think some real low/deep sounding instrument would be quite nice here and there, maybe a cello or whatever with real long notes you know.

also i think that the song ends perfectly without the climax part.


well that's not so much of a crit , but please check out my song and tell me what you think about it
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1034483
english is not my native language
#3
i'd just like you to know that during ur clamix, 3/4 + 3/4 + 2/4 = 8/4 which means thats just two normal 4/4 measures, you just made it way harder, the riff is still in boring old 4/4 time... but ive run into that problem a lot b4... i usually figure it out though... cool name, decent song, don't worry c4c, this crit isn't long enough and ive no songs for u.
#4
Ok, so I've added Bass to the entire song, and made some other minor changes. I think I'm pretty satisfied now, the only things I'm not too sure about is the ending (is Climax not needed?) and the transition from Bridge to New Part.

Oh, and are Vocals even needed? I haven't written any at all, but if It is crucial than I could allways try and write some.

Anything else I should change?
Last edited by Behzad93 at Jan 7, 2009,
#5
wow, i just got an email saying someone replied to one of my posts right when i finished writing this, thank goodness you wanted this one C4C's xD


My god this version is so much better, i think i'll do a real crit now.

Introduction: Normally I would disapprove of three guitars, but in kick ass stereo it sounds pretty epic. And when my mind got off the awesome of the three guitars I noticed the really cool drum rhythm. It creates a really cool build up. When the bass first came in I had feared it would be a boring repeating one note strum for each chord thing, then i realized it might be really hard to make a good bass part over the delicate balance of guitars you had. so I decided to give it time.

Pre-Chorus: 33-40 i hated the bass, the "random" (seemingly anyway) octavating just displeased me. It would be better off just dotted half note strum linked to another dotted half note and do that until 40. The guitar transition is too important to be ruined by the bass. 41-52 pwnd the **** outta my ears (which i suppose is a good thing, im trying to complement it) the bass was lovely and i hadn't even noticed the really well laid out drum track until then. Sure it didn't look that amazing, but the usage of the splash cymbal the eighth note made the splash cymbal on measure 52 really helped emphasis the last note and transition to the Chorus much easier

Chorus: The transition from 3/4 125 bpm to 4/4 130 bpm was made beautifully. The placing of the bass's open D on the drum's bass drum was something I did indeed notice, and makes it sound a lot better. But the basses emphasis notes at 69-72 should probably be taken down an octave.

Break: Seems unnecessary... im sorry to say, cuz it sounds really cool. But you have one acoustic guitar going for a bit and it sounds good and then it starts to fade out, and i kind of expected more. but then you just.. faded back into another slow acoustic part... It just seems more sensible to me to just remove the break altogether. or find somewhere else for it...

Interlude: Kind of getting bored of slow solo acoustic. The riff is really cool, but, unless you remove the break, you should start the interlude with the acoustic+bass+drums. I strongly believe you need to take out either measure 82-98 or 99-114. 115 things start getting interesting. looks like you had a key change from C/Am to F/Dm. While the bass part usually stays at the same rhythm as the acoustic, but it was still well written and works quite well. Guitar+Synth strings sounded OK... but the were playing the same thing, try harmonizing the guitar, just play the M/m third of whatever the main note is, its really simple u just got up to notes on whatever scale you're playing in (in this case Dm) sounds so much cooler. The solo was slow and melodic, which seems to be a major theme so far, and is working quite well.

Bridge: Pretty wicked man, funky time signatures FTW! (btw 3/4 + 3/4 + 3/4 + 3/4 + 2/4 is equal to 4, 7/8 measures, but i didn't really expect you to know that so, no harm done ) each measure pretty much only used one note though, which is kinda boring. but it did sound pretty cool.

New Part: Keychange, into a really weird key that i can't figure out (oh well). Bass and guitar duet quite nicely. the second guitar on 175 kinda throw me off. but after a bit a started feeling it. 186, I can feel the tension building, for the sake of your crit it better not let me down xD at measure 193 i felt like i'd been tossed of a cliff. although the drums into the chorus sound cool, and when i tried cutting out those two measures it just sounded awful. besides, when the powerful chorus started up I felt like I had just caught me self and started climbing back up the cliff to kick whoever's ass it was that throw me off before. lol!

Chorus: ... IVE ALREADY CRITED YOUR CHORUS!!!

Pre-Climax: more slow acoustic guitar ! ... felt like right after a climbed the cliff the ass hole that had thrown me off had left and i was sad. but wait a second... could that be?

Climax: Now im kicking that guys ass red, thank you!!! lols!!! i had mini orgasms at measure 245 and 247 the addition of the tom rolls at measure 248 was really awesome and starts building more pressure up. and i better not get thrown off that cliff again. 16th note bass drum pounding away. 255-X kickass. who knew quarter notes could sound so powerful.

HOLY ****... this was a long crit for a long song. this twas and amazing song, with a few defects. Start recording your stuff and make a demo tape, you could probably do something with this stuff. 9/10!!!! well apparantly you don't have to worry 'bout c4c LOL! btw i have a **** load of typos up there
Last edited by Uber Man at Jan 4, 2009,
#6
....wooowww

Sounds very tool influenced.

your use of three guitars is outstanding

the stereo effect is brilliant.

the chorus gets a little old...

all your acoustic stuff in this song is Brilliant.

Aw.

when you wrote "pre-climax" i was like ..

this is going to blow my face off, but the climax was a little dissapointing.

please melt my face next time.


Crit mine?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1038601
#7
Indeed a long song...but at least its packed with tons of changes and different elements rather than repeating the chorus 14 times or what not. But anyways..yeah a lot of good elements...I would agree with the gentlemen with the booklong crit (:]) that the break is very unnecessary. Either take it out as advised or perhaps try to add a complimenting acoustic guitar in there to introduce the interlude??? Or something..I know you have the creativity cause it shows throughout the rest of the song...but something needs tweaked there. Like said....very awesome song with a lot of cool twists and parts...or some minor things that I would recommend tweaking.


:]
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=17986775#post17986775
#8
This is a pretty cool song! I don't like to nitpick too much and I rather look at the song as a whole.

- Pretty much all your riffs are great, like as far as instrumentation goes its fantastic IMO, very nice use of acoustics and keys to create texture and stuff like that.

-Your very good at creating like a melancholic sort of mood, the bit with like the volume swells is depressing .

- In some parts it has excellent flow, while in others not so much. Due to the progressive nature of the song and the sheer amount of riffs this is probably expected. Do you plan to have vocals over the top? that usually brings some unity to the whole thing.

- I think you used the fading out distortion chord transition one too many times at the pre climax part, I feel it would make more sense if you went straight into the heavier climax part after the chorus.

Anyway that's all, hope it helps.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1038725
#9
Quote by Uber Man
But the basses emphasis notes at 69-72 should probably be taken down an octave.

Guitar+Synth strings sounded OK... but the were playing the same thing, try harmonizing the guitar, just play the M/m third of whatever the main note is, its really simple u just got up to notes on whatever scale you're playing in (in this case Dm) sounds so much cooler.

Bridge: Pretty wicked man, funky time signatures FTW! (btw 3/4 + 3/4 + 3/4 + 3/4 + 2/4 is equal to 4, 7/8 measures, but i didn't really expect you to know that so, no harm done ) each measure pretty much only used one note though, which is kinda boring. but it did sound pretty cool.


Bass fixed at 69-72.

Yeah about the Synth-thing. My intension is that there's only a guitar playing that part, I layered a synth on top of it because that's how I'll make the sound of the guitar. So there isn't a synth playing at all. That's also why I named the track "Sound Effects" instead of "Keyboard".

As long as the Bridge sounds good, there's no reason why I should change it. I don't really mind how it looks. Also fixed it to 7/8's, thanks.

So that's about it, huh? Oh, except for the Break. Seems like no one likes that part. Wich is weird, because I really love it. We'll see how it ends up. I haven't played the song with my band yet, maybe then someone will come up with a good idea.

Thanks for the kind words everyone! Really appreciated!
Last edited by Behzad93 at Jan 6, 2009,
#10
Thanks for critting my Hiphop song-idea thing.

The intro was nice, I wasn't really a fan of the drums so much untill around bar 17, but the rest was cool.

The prechorus was very nice, but taking out the high guitar made it fel empty.

The chorus was alright, nothing too special or groundbreaking; but it does the job.

Th break between the chorus and break was cool, MIDI makes it sound qustionable though.

The break/interlude was very nice
Good use of dynamics.

The drums were nice, I just wasn't a fan of the snare roll that both them in.
The bassline was very very though.

Nice violining on the jazz guitar lead aswell. That sounds great!
The other lead only made it better.

The bridge sounded a bit too upbeat compared to the section it followed. Almost like, changed the vibe of the piece. Maybe you were going for that?

New Part was very nice, I love the acoustic guitar there, espiecially at 185.

The chorus comes back suddenley, but it works well!
Nothing needs changing there.

The pre-climax was pretty good, it seemed a little bland but it was nice.
I loved the climax though, absolutley amazing in every way.

Overall, 9/10! Very good, just needs some slight improvements.
I deeply regret the 6661 in my username. Siiiigh. Damn you, 14 year old me, you edgy little bastard.
Last edited by Carl6661 at Jan 6, 2009,
#11
This is ****in' sweet man. I've never really listened to prog before, so I'm not sure if I really know much about the genre, but this is, without a doubt, a great performance. 10/10
Quote by guitar-godfrey
when i grow up i wanna have blackandsilver's babies!

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..
HOLY HELL.

nice discovery, sir.


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Last edited by coryklok : Today at 01:10 PM.
#12
I really liked your intro, it sounded very full because of everything you had going on. I also like the riff that follows it but to me it just sounds a bit empty compared to the intro, not a huge deal though. I liked the distorted riff as 1:20, it worked as a pretty nice build up riff for me. When the clean guitar comes back in at around 2:10 it sounds a bit awkward to me, but I'm pretty sure that its just the MIDI. To me it felt like this clean part dragged on for a while and got boring after a bit, but once the bass and drums entered around the early three minute mark it made it much better.

The volume swells and lead also helped to bring my attention back, maybe if you could just bring these in earlier I think it'd work better. I think the transition to the new riff at around 4:24 could use some type of better transition, but I enjoyed the riff itself. The section around 4:50 or so has probably been my favorite of the song so far, the sound of it is just interesting to me and the bass really helps this section in my opinion. I'd probably hate that little lead you had over it over any other rhythm, but it really fit the riff nicely here.

I don't have a problem with any of your riffs in this, I liked basically all of them in fact. The main problem I think the song had was a solid and natural flow, some transitions just sounded like they could be better to me, but besides that I don't really think this has any problems to it. Nearly 8 minutes long, but you were able to hold my attention through it because of the solid riffs, the only thing I'd work on is the flow with transitions.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1037972
#13
Thanks guys! It's seems that my main problem in song writing is transitions and getting a good flow. I tend to make drast and sudden riff-changes, wich sometimes works, and other times not so much. Maybe it'll work with vocals on top of it? I don't know really. Oh that brings me to the question again...

Intrumental or non-instrumental?
#14
I say instrumental, also I am not going to crit it and don't expect c4c, but I would like to say I can't wait until this is recorded.
#15
I really liked it. the chorus was big and powerful, but the verses and the melodies between made it seem more so. It was like Epic Metallica fused with Coheed and Cambria-esque progressive. i love it. the transitions were spot on, the acoustic work is truly inspired and the triple guitar arrangement in the intro was incredible.

10/10