#1
Wow. It's been a while since I posted a song on UG.
But here goes!

No doubt, I believe this is the finest song I've written.
Infact, I may even give it to my band to play.
It's pretty much a mix of Hardcore, Screamo and Metal.
It comes complete, even with the actual Vocal Melody, too.

Crit For Crit as always.

Any critisism is always appreciated.

Thank You.
Attachments:
Into The Bliss UG.zip
Your light bulb knows everything you do in your room.
#2
The best way to describe this song is annoying, like he said. ^
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Last edited by Gyroscope : Tomorrow at 01:00 PM.
#3
yeah I don't like it either sorry
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#4
well I have to agree with everyone else.
to be honest if a band mate gave me this I tell them were not using it.
I'd be way too bored playing this. if you could add to the lead line make it fill the 2 measures, not use it as much threw the song, and put more complexity in the other riffs. this could be a good song but with the amount of work you need to do that I'd just scrap it and use a riff in it you like for a different song.
A painter paints pictures on canvas. But musicians paint their pictures on silence.
#5
Well, I actually think it's not too bad. There's two things I would change though.

1 - That octave part at 109 (on the second guitar track) definitely should be taken out or changed. The rest of the song is slightly dissonant, and then that part comes out of nowhere and its way more dissonant than the other parts of the song (hope that makes sense..)

2 - It's kind of hard to tell without actually hearing someone sing it, but the vocal melody feels weird in places (probably those sharped sixths/sevenths in the melodic minor, try using them less maybe?)
#6
haha thanks guys.

clearly i need less repetition.

woops.

EDIT: oh and the first guy asked about influences.
the main influence for this was Blessthefall, so yeah.
Your light bulb knows everything you do in your room.
Last edited by reaper_x at Dec 31, 2008,
#7
I thought the vocal melody sort of ruined it. the entire thing is basically out of key.

and my only other problem with it is completely about my preference. I think it sounds way too 'happy' and major for a hardcore/screamo song. especially since you said you were influenced by Blessthefall. (One of my favorite bands at the moment, pretty addictive.)

its not a bad song otherwise, albeit annoyingly repetitive.
#8
I like the intro. Its simple, but cool. The melody at measure 10 is kind of awkward though. As a test, i changed the F (15) to and F# (16) and it sounded a lot better, in my opinion.

Vocals at the chorus arent that great, tbh.

Ending seems kind of anticlimactic too.

But i've seen much worse. Keep writing, man. This wasnt that bad.

If you could, please crit mine, its in my sig