#1
Let me know whatcha think. I wrote it last week, gonna do this one live next time I play out at the bar.

I tried to keep it simple, the less is more approach. Nothing too deep or esoteric.

The recorded version is in my profile.

http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/cheapr2keepr/music/all/play504368

I'm a better guitarist than singer, and my guitar ain't that great! That's why I like playing for drunk people.

Thanks!

V1:
19 years,
Ball & chain.
Got no money,
Only blame.
Leave my worries
At the gate.
Running free,
Tempting fate.

instrumental break

V2:
Put my heart
In a vice, I was…
Too damn easy,
Too damn nice.
Squeezed it empty,
Now we’re through.
Pay attention, ‘cause
I’m leaving you...

Chorus:
I’m breaking out of Hell,
I’m breaking out of Hell,
Ring the Devil’s bell,
‘Cause I’m breaking out of Hell

Gonna do my crime,
‘Cause I’ve done my time, with you…

solo

V3:
Tattooed lady
Whiskey gin
Drive-by lover
Seven sins.
Bite the bullet, or…
Have no fear.
Either way,
My mind is clear…

Chorus x2

Working overtime,
Gonna cross that line tonite.
#2
keeping it sweet and simple. i like it!
the only bit i had a problem with was the last two lines... didn't rhyme and seemed a bit unnecessary after two repetitions of your great chorus
#3
Quote by Hesh
keeping it sweet and simple. i like it!
the only bit i had a problem with was the last two lines... didn't rhyme and seemed a bit unnecessary after two repetitions of your great chorus


Thanks for the critique. I might just repeat the first post chorus part:

Gonna do my crime,
‘Cause I’ve done my time, with you…

I wanted to avoid redundancy, but the last portion was admittedly forced.

thx!