#1
Genre - Acoustic Pop (think John Mayer or Jack Johnson)

"Summer Day"

Come with me and let’s waste away
For hours upon hours, on this sweet summer day
We’ll chase each other through the fields
‘Til we find the perfect place to play

You be my girl
And I’ll be your man
We’ll be like waves
Crashin’ in the sand
Rolling and tumbling
For nights on end
Stopping just for the thrill
Of starting again

You know how people can change
Just like the seasons do
But I know we’ll still be here
Long after the summer’s through

You be my girl
And I’ll be your man
We’ll be like waves
Crashin’ in the sand
Rolling and tumbling
For nights on end
Stopping just for the thrill
Of starting again

Well have the wildest of times
Living like were about to die
‘Cause there’s nothing we can’t do
When we’re by each other’s sides

You be my girl
And I’ll be your man
We’ll be like waves
Crashin’ in the sand
Rolling and tumbling
For nights on end
Stopping just for the thrill
Of starting again
#3
yeah good work..
you really shouldnt publish "summer day" on 31 december, huh? ;P
Quote by Moggan13
Serjem is like a Bishops testicals: Swollen
ಠ_ಠ
IIIIfb * KARKOLI * ytIIII(mostly rock... a little funky, a little hard just the way you want it )
#6
sounds like a early pink floyd song to me...maybe about an acid trip or something.
#8
thanks for the crits guys. I do have to change that title..idk about "Stopping to Start Again" but maybe it will grow on me. Perhaps I should just call it "Summer"????

Wow ur right...posting a song about summer on new years is pretty ironic lol.

I'll crit you guys back for sure but not right now b/c its 1:22 am and im not perfectly sober

Happy New Years!!!
Last edited by NittanyLion07 at Jan 1, 2009,
#9
You be my girl
And I’ll be your man
We’ll be like waves
Crashin’ in the sand
Rolling and tumbling
For nights on end
Stopping just for the thrill
Of starting again

I read this and thought, "Oh, and now it's gets a little dirty." :P I don't know if that's the way you intended it, but I, for one, can never grow tired of the classic sex on the beach scene.

I especially liked the last two lines; they were my favorites. They flow so well together and, I dunno, they made the song for me. This is an extremely cute song, very happy, as I believe was stated before. Pretty solid, no distinguishing things that need critting on. Good job.
Cause I love feelin' dirty
And I love feelin' cheap
And I love it when you hurt me
So drive those staples deep
#10
I agree with everyone else in this thread. This is great, and there's nothing that I have to complain about. The seasons/going through summer bit was my favourite part, it was great! nice job overall, as well.
New To Town With A Made Up Name

In The Angel's City

Chasing Fortune And Fame
09/03/2012
#11
in reply to nerk13
yea that "dirty" interpretation is totally correct. This entire song is basically one dirty innuendio, especially the chorus and firt verse.
Speaking of dirty, I just read ur sig an THAT is some dirty writing...cheers!

in reply to Alter-bridge
i'm REALLY glad you liked that part b/c thats my LEAST favorite part of the song and I almost rewrote/trashed that whole part. Now i'm glad I kept it. haha
Last edited by NittanyLion07 at Jan 2, 2009,
#12
Quote by NittanyLion07

yea that "dirty" interpretation is totally correct. This entire song is basically one dirty innuendio, especially the chorus and firt verse.



happy drity song....... I loved it